I am glad I didn’t participate at prom this week, I have not one ounce of regret. I stayed at home and spent my day like I would any other day. I helped my mom cook in addition to spending my time with family and relaxing. I was keeping in contact with a few of my friends who were attending prom through text. The next day I was on Facebook and saw that a couple of people who had attended posted some pictures up. Most of what I saw in these pictures was expected; many of the girls were wearing dresses which were a bit too revealing while otherS were wearing floor length dresses and the guys had tuxes on. I don’t really get why these people especially the girls spend so much money to get ready for prom, when at the end everything is gonna get messed up (i.e. hair). This was seen in the pics for the after prom, The girls weren't looking as glitzy as they did before. I personally don't feel that all the money that everyone put into going to prom was well spent or worthwhile; but then again, this is just my own personal thoughts, I don't want to be criticizing all the hard work done by many teachers and students.
My future plans are the same as they are now; I won’t be attending prom. Talking with a couple of my friends I felt that no one had the best time of their lives, it was a nice affair but nothing over the top. I guess since everything was expected and we have dissected this topic thoroughly in your class, nobody really expected anything out of the ordinary. At times in class we discussed how prom related to someone getting married; I personally believe that prom has no connections with marriage in my culture. The American culture and prom is far from the Pakistani culture which contain events such as marriage. I can say that prom can be similar to the American weddings that I have seen or heard about, but nowhere near similar to Pakistani weddings.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Hwk 58
I asked two of my friends and my mom about prom…
Inexperienced: I decided to call my good friend Aseela and interview her about prom. Aseela hasn’t attended a prom yet nor does she plan to attend one in the future. I asked her why she doesn’t want to go to prom. She said “it is not an event for us, people are dancing and they doing crazy stuff, we not allowed to do that with guys. If It was separated meaning boys and girls in separate rooms like they have at the Yemeni weddings I would have planned on going, but nahh I’m not gonna go.” Then I asked her about her thoughts on how people dress up for prom and how they take prom so seriously. She said: “They exaggerate prom so much, all prom is about is attention that’s it. I think that it is nonsense because they spending so much money on their appearance which shouldn’t be that big of a deal. They only going from high school to college, they make it all hyped up for no reason. I know some people go to have fun, but at the end it’s all about attention and I just think that’s stupid.” I thanked Aseela for taking the time out of her day to share her thoughts about prom and moved on to my next interview.
Experienced: This person wanted to stay anonymous and I respect their request. I interviewed another friend of mine who attended someone else’s prom last year and will be attending her own this year. I asked her about what she expected at the prom she attended last year; she replied: “I wasn’t really sure what I expected at the time being. It seemed much more important than my 8th grade graduation or a middle school dance where it wasn’t that big of a deal if you didn’t come with a date or stress about necesseties such as a limo or dress.” I then asked her about the dresses girls were wearing, what did these dresses “say” about these girls? She said: “Everyone in my limo had a long dress except for me and another girl. These long dresses were like ball gowns, they were sparkly and over the top. I wore a simple dress, nothing too over the top. I wanted to feel comfortable and not be dragging my dress around the whole night. I don’t know what it said about them, I guess it said that they want to attract more attention from others whereas the girls that were wearing simple dresses did not care as much about the attention.” I then asked her about who are the people that set the tone at prom. She replied: “The DJ has a big effect on prom; he/she has control of changing the mood with their choice of music. They are the ones who determine if others will be having a good time or not.” I asked her about how she felt throughout the whole night as a junior attending prom with a senior: “I had moments where I felt a little weird throughout the night because it wasn’t my prom, but later on I was able to get along with a few other juniors who were there.” I asked her about why she is going to prom again this year. “Because last year felt to me more as if I was attending a regular party. It wasn’t as exciting as it would be when I attend my own prom. I am going again this year because it is my prom, and many of these people I may not get to see ever again. Another reason is that I am going with someone I really like, so it will cause me to gain a different experience at prom.” I thanked her, exed out of the chat and moved on to my last interview.
Experienced (Older): Lastly, I talked to my mom about what they do in Pakistan when students finish high school. She said they have something called a “Farewell”. I asked her about this Farewell and what people do there. She replied: “They have all the students and teachers get together for dinner." I asked what type of clothes people wore, was it anything special or just the traditional Kameez Shalwar? She said ”Yeah everyone wore the kameez shalwar, you can say they got dressed up for this event, but not as nearly dressed up as people do for prom. My mom attended an all girls high school so she said that it was only girls at this “Farewell”, if there had been guys there her parents most likely wouldn’t have let her go. I then asked her why she attended this Farewell, she said that her friends were begging her to go which pressured her into going. Otherwise she didn’t have much of an interest.
Analysis:
After reading through these interviews I found myself agreeing with Aseela the most. Prom is all about hype thats it; these people attending prom just use the transition from high school to college as an excuse to have something to dress up for. I don't really get how people celebrate this transition by dancing in awkward positions and getting drunk later on in the night. From my second interview I was able to get a different point of view on prom. I respect everyones thoughts about prom, but I strictly stand in the same position as a did before this unit. Prom has nothing to do with me, and I have nothing to do with prom. If we had a Farewell like my mom did where there was segregation between the sexes I would have thought about going, but even then I would probably have second thoughts.
Inexperienced: I decided to call my good friend Aseela and interview her about prom. Aseela hasn’t attended a prom yet nor does she plan to attend one in the future. I asked her why she doesn’t want to go to prom. She said “it is not an event for us, people are dancing and they doing crazy stuff, we not allowed to do that with guys. If It was separated meaning boys and girls in separate rooms like they have at the Yemeni weddings I would have planned on going, but nahh I’m not gonna go.” Then I asked her about her thoughts on how people dress up for prom and how they take prom so seriously. She said: “They exaggerate prom so much, all prom is about is attention that’s it. I think that it is nonsense because they spending so much money on their appearance which shouldn’t be that big of a deal. They only going from high school to college, they make it all hyped up for no reason. I know some people go to have fun, but at the end it’s all about attention and I just think that’s stupid.” I thanked Aseela for taking the time out of her day to share her thoughts about prom and moved on to my next interview.
Experienced: This person wanted to stay anonymous and I respect their request. I interviewed another friend of mine who attended someone else’s prom last year and will be attending her own this year. I asked her about what she expected at the prom she attended last year; she replied: “I wasn’t really sure what I expected at the time being. It seemed much more important than my 8th grade graduation or a middle school dance where it wasn’t that big of a deal if you didn’t come with a date or stress about necesseties such as a limo or dress.” I then asked her about the dresses girls were wearing, what did these dresses “say” about these girls? She said: “Everyone in my limo had a long dress except for me and another girl. These long dresses were like ball gowns, they were sparkly and over the top. I wore a simple dress, nothing too over the top. I wanted to feel comfortable and not be dragging my dress around the whole night. I don’t know what it said about them, I guess it said that they want to attract more attention from others whereas the girls that were wearing simple dresses did not care as much about the attention.” I then asked her about who are the people that set the tone at prom. She replied: “The DJ has a big effect on prom; he/she has control of changing the mood with their choice of music. They are the ones who determine if others will be having a good time or not.” I asked her about how she felt throughout the whole night as a junior attending prom with a senior: “I had moments where I felt a little weird throughout the night because it wasn’t my prom, but later on I was able to get along with a few other juniors who were there.” I asked her about why she is going to prom again this year. “Because last year felt to me more as if I was attending a regular party. It wasn’t as exciting as it would be when I attend my own prom. I am going again this year because it is my prom, and many of these people I may not get to see ever again. Another reason is that I am going with someone I really like, so it will cause me to gain a different experience at prom.” I thanked her, exed out of the chat and moved on to my last interview.
Experienced (Older): Lastly, I talked to my mom about what they do in Pakistan when students finish high school. She said they have something called a “Farewell”. I asked her about this Farewell and what people do there. She replied: “They have all the students and teachers get together for dinner." I asked what type of clothes people wore, was it anything special or just the traditional Kameez Shalwar? She said ”Yeah everyone wore the kameez shalwar, you can say they got dressed up for this event, but not as nearly dressed up as people do for prom. My mom attended an all girls high school so she said that it was only girls at this “Farewell”, if there had been guys there her parents most likely wouldn’t have let her go. I then asked her why she attended this Farewell, she said that her friends were begging her to go which pressured her into going. Otherwise she didn’t have much of an interest.
Analysis:
After reading through these interviews I found myself agreeing with Aseela the most. Prom is all about hype thats it; these people attending prom just use the transition from high school to college as an excuse to have something to dress up for. I don't really get how people celebrate this transition by dancing in awkward positions and getting drunk later on in the night. From my second interview I was able to get a different point of view on prom. I respect everyones thoughts about prom, but I strictly stand in the same position as a did before this unit. Prom has nothing to do with me, and I have nothing to do with prom. If we had a Farewell like my mom did where there was segregation between the sexes I would have thought about going, but even then I would probably have second thoughts.
Monday, May 23, 2011
Hwk 57
Thoughts:
I personally believe that prom is a big waste of time; as a community we have a list of things to worry about and the last thing on that list should be prom. I never gave much thought to Prom until last year when I saw the seniors stressing; whether stressing about renting a tuxedo from the Men’s Warehouse or what time they had their appointment at the salon, there was a sense of hype being absorbed with the stress a number of these seniors were facing. While watching these seniors, as a junior I had a slight moment where I became brainwashed into thinking that this is what I want to be worrying about as a senior next year. At last, senior year finally came and I finally realized that such worries are of no purpose. A number of prom goers tend to claim that they are going because “it’s the last event we have as a class together.” I think this is just an excuse to be used for dressing up and wasting high sums of cash in order to receive attention.
As a class, many of us came to the conclusion that “prom is a rite of passage to a fantasy of adulthood”. I agree that a number of individuals in our society apply this idea with prom. It is an excuse to act out perfection which is not possible in our world today, so why do a number of individuals attempt such an act? There is this sense of excitement a number of individuals have in America as they near their 18th birthday. In American culture turning 18 is a big deal; one becomes 3 years within the legal age of drinking, they are able to attain a driver’s license, etc… Adulthood has to do with ones responsibility; given such access to adulthood a number of individuals are brainwashed into the idea that adulthood is based on the idea of drinking, sex and having access to luxurious rides. I don’t think that one needs to attends prom in order to be granted adulthood; adulthood is the lack of responsibility one has. Growing up we are all raised with a sense of responsibility; which makes me believe that prom is not a ticket to adulthood, instead it is an excuse to fulfill desires which revolve around fantasy.
Questions:
Why do a number of individuals rely on prom to mark their start of adulthood? Does that mean adulthood cannot be reached until one has attended prom?
What does having a curfew on the night of prom say about “adulthood”?
How can one attend prom without gaining attention? Or is prom only affiliated with the attention received by one?
I personally believe that prom is a big waste of time; as a community we have a list of things to worry about and the last thing on that list should be prom. I never gave much thought to Prom until last year when I saw the seniors stressing; whether stressing about renting a tuxedo from the Men’s Warehouse or what time they had their appointment at the salon, there was a sense of hype being absorbed with the stress a number of these seniors were facing. While watching these seniors, as a junior I had a slight moment where I became brainwashed into thinking that this is what I want to be worrying about as a senior next year. At last, senior year finally came and I finally realized that such worries are of no purpose. A number of prom goers tend to claim that they are going because “it’s the last event we have as a class together.” I think this is just an excuse to be used for dressing up and wasting high sums of cash in order to receive attention.
As a class, many of us came to the conclusion that “prom is a rite of passage to a fantasy of adulthood”. I agree that a number of individuals in our society apply this idea with prom. It is an excuse to act out perfection which is not possible in our world today, so why do a number of individuals attempt such an act? There is this sense of excitement a number of individuals have in America as they near their 18th birthday. In American culture turning 18 is a big deal; one becomes 3 years within the legal age of drinking, they are able to attain a driver’s license, etc… Adulthood has to do with ones responsibility; given such access to adulthood a number of individuals are brainwashed into the idea that adulthood is based on the idea of drinking, sex and having access to luxurious rides. I don’t think that one needs to attends prom in order to be granted adulthood; adulthood is the lack of responsibility one has. Growing up we are all raised with a sense of responsibility; which makes me believe that prom is not a ticket to adulthood, instead it is an excuse to fulfill desires which revolve around fantasy.
Questions:
Why do a number of individuals rely on prom to mark their start of adulthood? Does that mean adulthood cannot be reached until one has attended prom?
What does having a curfew on the night of prom say about “adulthood”?
How can one attend prom without gaining attention? Or is prom only affiliated with the attention received by one?
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
xc-COTD5.
not done...
Watch 3 episodes of "Six Feet Under". Write up a short annotation for each episode - MLA-citation, 2 sentence plot synopsis, 2 sentence evaluation of interest (see the above example regarding Dickinson's poem). Then write a 2-3 paragraph interpretation of how the episodes consolidate, challenge, and/or reconceptualize dominant social practices around the care of the dead.
Watch 3 episodes of "Six Feet Under". Write up a short annotation for each episode - MLA-citation, 2 sentence plot synopsis, 2 sentence evaluation of interest (see the above example regarding Dickinson's poem). Then write a 2-3 paragraph interpretation of how the episodes consolidate, challenge, and/or reconceptualize dominant social practices around the care of the dead.
xc - COTD2
Watching how Harold and Maude lived their lives was weird. In our society we don’t believe it is normal for anyone to be obsessed about death and creating a meaning in life. Many of us tend to forget about why we live this life and become distracted when we create our personal ways to fulfill it.Bbut what we don’t realize is that there are greater ways to fulfill it. Funerals and death played a big role in the lives of Harold and Maude. Harold loves to act out different ways one would approach their death. He loves to attend funerals; at one point he states “attending funerals satisfies me.” He likes to be alone in his own world until he meets Maude. Maude is the one who creates meaning to his life. She makes him realize that we are all living this life for something or someone. This makes Harold become interested in her insights about life and death. After spending some time with Maude, Harold realizes that he has meaning in his life because he is in love with Maude. He has a reason to live and enjoys spending his time with her. Instead of arguing with his mother about setting up dates for him, he scares them off by attempting dramatic acts of suicide. Later on when Harold finds out the shocking news that Maude takes sleeping pills on her 80th birthday he is devastated, but then realizes that he still has reasons to live his life.
Maude is a very interesting character. She approaches Harold in an unusual way by randomly making conversation with him. In our society talking to a random stranger is considered weird. Even when we ask a stranger for directions we tend to hesitate at times. Maude in the other hand has no care for what others have to say about her. She feels that everything which surrounds her in the world is hers. She has the power to take control of anything she wants to. For example, when she sees a dead tree she makes it her duty to make the grow back to life. She does this by transplanting it in the forest with the help of Harold. At one point she states: “I like to watch things grow.” She is very open to Harold about her thoughts on life. On her 80th birthday she decides to take sleeping pills. I guess she felt that she had nothing more left to live for.
Harold’s mother is another character who helps the viewer achieve a better understanding of Harold. She does not like Harold’s obsession of death and his dramatic acts of committing suicide. In fact she has not an ounce of worry when Harold does these attempts. He has attempted his own death so many times that she will not fall for another one of his stunts. Because Harold’s mother does not like her sons lifestyle, she decides to get him married soon. She sets up a number of dates for Harold in hope of him agreeing to her request; but all she gets in return are different attempts of suicide. When she feels that this method is not working, she decides to send him to the army with his uncle. Just as her last plan, this plan does not work either. Later on when Harold admits to having interest in Maude she is shocked, which would be expected from any mother.
Basically what I got out from watching this movie is that everyone has their own thoughts, opinions and approaches for the idea of death and caring for the dead. At first, Harold feels that he has no reason to live and tends to spend his whole life coming up with different attempts of suicide. That is until he meets Maude which makes him realize that he has something to live for. Maude feels that every living thing has a purpose in life and she shares this idea with Harold. Harold’s mother feels that death is a whole bunch of mumbo jumbo and no one should waste their time worrying about it. Instead they should spend the time they have in this life to do what others do by live a “normal” life.
Maude is a very interesting character. She approaches Harold in an unusual way by randomly making conversation with him. In our society talking to a random stranger is considered weird. Even when we ask a stranger for directions we tend to hesitate at times. Maude in the other hand has no care for what others have to say about her. She feels that everything which surrounds her in the world is hers. She has the power to take control of anything she wants to. For example, when she sees a dead tree she makes it her duty to make the grow back to life. She does this by transplanting it in the forest with the help of Harold. At one point she states: “I like to watch things grow.” She is very open to Harold about her thoughts on life. On her 80th birthday she decides to take sleeping pills. I guess she felt that she had nothing more left to live for.
Harold’s mother is another character who helps the viewer achieve a better understanding of Harold. She does not like Harold’s obsession of death and his dramatic acts of committing suicide. In fact she has not an ounce of worry when Harold does these attempts. He has attempted his own death so many times that she will not fall for another one of his stunts. Because Harold’s mother does not like her sons lifestyle, she decides to get him married soon. She sets up a number of dates for Harold in hope of him agreeing to her request; but all she gets in return are different attempts of suicide. When she feels that this method is not working, she decides to send him to the army with his uncle. Just as her last plan, this plan does not work either. Later on when Harold admits to having interest in Maude she is shocked, which would be expected from any mother.
Basically what I got out from watching this movie is that everyone has their own thoughts, opinions and approaches for the idea of death and caring for the dead. At first, Harold feels that he has no reason to live and tends to spend his whole life coming up with different attempts of suicide. That is until he meets Maude which makes him realize that he has something to live for. Maude feels that every living thing has a purpose in life and she shares this idea with Harold. Harold’s mother feels that death is a whole bunch of mumbo jumbo and no one should waste their time worrying about it. Instead they should spend the time they have in this life to do what others do by live a “normal” life.
Hwk 56
Comments to others:
Sophia,
I like how you questioned your reader at first, then started to answer these questions throughout your essay. Your questions made me pause and think about an answer to each of them before reading on. I was interested in how a body decomposes; as a class we discussed different approaches to death such as burial, cremation and embalming, but we never really went into each approach to death and how it is played out. I think it would have been even more interesting if you had put in some pictures for each stage of decomposition. I was able to create pictures in my head while reading your paper, but I was curious to see what each stage actually looks like. I know some of these photos might have been disturbing to some viewers, but this is a natural way of death; there is nothing abnormal about it. Nice job.
Amber M.
Martyna,
I was interested in reading about the different stages that one experiences when they lose their loved one. Everyone approaches death differently and they may approach these steps differently as well. I feel like it depends on the person and how close they were to their loved one. The closer they were, the longer it will take for them to finally accept the death of their loved one. I didn’t know that there were so many steps involved within grieving for a loss. When I think about people who recently lost their loved one, I think of them crying for a couple of days then going back to their normal routine. After reading this, I was able to figure out that this is not the case. The grieving period is much more longer than I thought it would be. Now I realize that one cannot go straight to accepting the death of their loved one. They had probably spent a great amount of time with them; they shouldn’t be expected to move on with their lives right after a great loss. I think it would have been nice if you had added your own thoughts or personal experiences to the seven stages of grief. Otherwise good job.
Amber M.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Comments from others:
From Arden:
I remember you telling me about your project. I was interested then and after reading it I think the project turned out really well. I liked how you made the piece very personal by writing about your views and practice based off of your own religion. You managed to take the piece a step deeper by a temping to learn about other religion aside form your own.
Your research strongly supports what you said "that religion does indeed affect the way one approaches death and his or her thoughts on the afterlife. " I think you could have improved this piece by comparing and contrasting the dominant practices in each religion. Similarities and differences.
Good job
From Protege (Brother):
I think you did a good job. I know you go to Madarsa every weekend, but reading this helped me understand some stuff you have learned from there. I think it was a good choice to compare what people from other faiths say about the afterlife and how they care for their dead. Our society is very diverse and it looks like you are interested in comparing and contrasting your thoughts to what others have to say. I think the verses from the Quran and Hadith were useful to show your readers where your thoughts are originally coming from. I would have liked to hear more about you and your thoughts towards the end.
From Mentor (Mom):
Amber,
Nice way to approach your project, I am glad that you were able to approach it by doing something other than a paper. I like how you used what you learn in madarsa and incorporated it within this project. After reading this I was able to have a better understanding of religion and how it helps shape someones thoughts. I didn't have much knowledge on how people from other faiths approach death or how it shapes their thoughts about the afterlife, but by reading your interviews I was able to learn a lot. It seems like those of the Catholic faith have the same idea of heaven and hell in the afterlife as we do. Those of the Jewish faith don't really have an idea about the after life. It would have been nice if you were able to do a couple more interviews with people from other faiths such as Budhism and Hinduism. Other than that you did a great job.
Mom
Sophia,
I like how you questioned your reader at first, then started to answer these questions throughout your essay. Your questions made me pause and think about an answer to each of them before reading on. I was interested in how a body decomposes; as a class we discussed different approaches to death such as burial, cremation and embalming, but we never really went into each approach to death and how it is played out. I think it would have been even more interesting if you had put in some pictures for each stage of decomposition. I was able to create pictures in my head while reading your paper, but I was curious to see what each stage actually looks like. I know some of these photos might have been disturbing to some viewers, but this is a natural way of death; there is nothing abnormal about it. Nice job.
Amber M.
Martyna,
I was interested in reading about the different stages that one experiences when they lose their loved one. Everyone approaches death differently and they may approach these steps differently as well. I feel like it depends on the person and how close they were to their loved one. The closer they were, the longer it will take for them to finally accept the death of their loved one. I didn’t know that there were so many steps involved within grieving for a loss. When I think about people who recently lost their loved one, I think of them crying for a couple of days then going back to their normal routine. After reading this, I was able to figure out that this is not the case. The grieving period is much more longer than I thought it would be. Now I realize that one cannot go straight to accepting the death of their loved one. They had probably spent a great amount of time with them; they shouldn’t be expected to move on with their lives right after a great loss. I think it would have been nice if you had added your own thoughts or personal experiences to the seven stages of grief. Otherwise good job.
Amber M.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Comments from others:
From Arden:
I remember you telling me about your project. I was interested then and after reading it I think the project turned out really well. I liked how you made the piece very personal by writing about your views and practice based off of your own religion. You managed to take the piece a step deeper by a temping to learn about other religion aside form your own.
Your research strongly supports what you said "that religion does indeed affect the way one approaches death and his or her thoughts on the afterlife. " I think you could have improved this piece by comparing and contrasting the dominant practices in each religion. Similarities and differences.
Good job
From Protege (Brother):
I think you did a good job. I know you go to Madarsa every weekend, but reading this helped me understand some stuff you have learned from there. I think it was a good choice to compare what people from other faiths say about the afterlife and how they care for their dead. Our society is very diverse and it looks like you are interested in comparing and contrasting your thoughts to what others have to say. I think the verses from the Quran and Hadith were useful to show your readers where your thoughts are originally coming from. I would have liked to hear more about you and your thoughts towards the end.
From Mentor (Mom):
Amber,
Nice way to approach your project, I am glad that you were able to approach it by doing something other than a paper. I like how you used what you learn in madarsa and incorporated it within this project. After reading this I was able to have a better understanding of religion and how it helps shape someones thoughts. I didn't have much knowledge on how people from other faiths approach death or how it shapes their thoughts about the afterlife, but by reading your interviews I was able to learn a lot. It seems like those of the Catholic faith have the same idea of heaven and hell in the afterlife as we do. Those of the Jewish faith don't really have an idea about the after life. It would have been nice if you were able to do a couple more interviews with people from other faiths such as Budhism and Hinduism. Other than that you did a great job.
Mom
Monday, May 16, 2011
Hwk 55
Originally I had planned on writing a paper about religion and how it affects how one cares for the dead and their thoughts on the afterlife. But after I realized that I was already busy working on my exhibition I felt like the last thing I wanted to do was to write another paper. So, I decided to ask my teacher at Madarsah (the Arabic word for any type of educational institution, whether secular or religious) if she could focus one of her class periods based on parts in the Quran which discussed the afterlife and possibly connect it to other beliefs. She happily agreed with this idea because we are used to reading the Quran and discussing its translations as a class; she focus on surahs (chapters from the Quran) which discussed the rewards of paradise and the torture one will experience if admitted into hell. She also referred to the Hadith (A collection of traditions containing sayings of the prophet Muhammad) which was able to tie together Islamic beliefs on the afterlife. These are some parts of the Quran and Hadith which we ended up discussing:
Verses from the Quran:
"Every soul shall taste death. And We test you by evil and by good by way of trial. To Us must you return." (Surah al-Anbiyaa)
“It is He Who brings out the living from the dead, and brings out the dead from the living and Who gives life to the earth after it is dead: and thus shall ye be brought out (from the dead).” (Ar-Room)
Hadith:
“The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: There is nothing heavier than good character put in the scale of a believer on the Day of Resurrection.”
“Verily. Allah would say on the Day of Resurrection: Where are those who have mutual love for My Glory’s sake? Today I shall shelter them in My shadow when there is no other shadow but the shadow of Mine.”
Throughout the whole discussion I found myself nodding my head. I agree with everything which is stated in the Quran and Hadith; not only about death, but all topics discussed. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to gather a collection of photos while attending the class because many Muslim women do not like being photographed for religious reasons.
In addition to sitting in on this class, I decided to compare how my personal death plans and thoughts on the afterlife compare to those who have a different faith.
Questions asked: How do you want to be approached after your death? What are your thoughts about the afterlife?
Anonymous (Catholic): “I want to be washed and clothed by her family. “I want to be placed in a wooden casket which would not harm the environment and help me decompose and go back into earth. I do not want to be cremated because many Catholics do not cremate themselves. Cremation is not considered traditional for Catholics. I want people to pay their respects and remember me after I die. I want to have a service (Mass) after my burial. According to my religion and what I believe in, I think that I will join God in heaven or go to hell. This will depend on whether I followed the path God wanted me to follow and if my sins are forgiven or not. I believe the afterlife will be a like a birds eye view from the sky; looking down on people and meeting God if I am granted to spend my afterlife in heaven.”
Anonymous (Jewish): “I never really thought about how the dead should be approached until my grandmother and father in law passed away last year. My father in law was cremated, but this was against the Jewish faith so it was considered untraditional. This made me upset because I like the idea of having a traditional funeral. My grandmother in the other hand had much more of a traditional burial; I took part in this by sitting Shiva. This death was expected since my grandmother was aged. She understood this fact and made it clear that she wanted to be with her husband (in the afterlife). I want to have a traditional Jewish burial which consists of a being wrapped up in a cloth and having the body placed in a pine casket. This casket would then be buried into the ground and decomposed back into earth. I don’t have much of an idea about the afterlife since Judaism does not have a strong focus on the afterlife. I guess there will be lots of clouds and a big man with a beard (possibly a rabbi). I do not want my religion to be oppressive on me. Religion should play a part in a meaningful life but it should not be forced upon you.”
After attending the Islamic class which focused on the afterlife in Islam and hearing about thoughts from those who follow different faiths made me realize that religion does indeed affect the way one approaches death and his/her thoughts on the afterlife.
Verses from the Quran:
"Every soul shall taste death. And We test you by evil and by good by way of trial. To Us must you return." (Surah al-Anbiyaa)
“It is He Who brings out the living from the dead, and brings out the dead from the living and Who gives life to the earth after it is dead: and thus shall ye be brought out (from the dead).” (Ar-Room)
Hadith:
“The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: There is nothing heavier than good character put in the scale of a believer on the Day of Resurrection.”
“Verily. Allah would say on the Day of Resurrection: Where are those who have mutual love for My Glory’s sake? Today I shall shelter them in My shadow when there is no other shadow but the shadow of Mine.”
Throughout the whole discussion I found myself nodding my head. I agree with everything which is stated in the Quran and Hadith; not only about death, but all topics discussed. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to gather a collection of photos while attending the class because many Muslim women do not like being photographed for religious reasons.
In addition to sitting in on this class, I decided to compare how my personal death plans and thoughts on the afterlife compare to those who have a different faith.
Questions asked: How do you want to be approached after your death? What are your thoughts about the afterlife?
Anonymous (Catholic): “I want to be washed and clothed by her family. “I want to be placed in a wooden casket which would not harm the environment and help me decompose and go back into earth. I do not want to be cremated because many Catholics do not cremate themselves. Cremation is not considered traditional for Catholics. I want people to pay their respects and remember me after I die. I want to have a service (Mass) after my burial. According to my religion and what I believe in, I think that I will join God in heaven or go to hell. This will depend on whether I followed the path God wanted me to follow and if my sins are forgiven or not. I believe the afterlife will be a like a birds eye view from the sky; looking down on people and meeting God if I am granted to spend my afterlife in heaven.”
Anonymous (Jewish): “I never really thought about how the dead should be approached until my grandmother and father in law passed away last year. My father in law was cremated, but this was against the Jewish faith so it was considered untraditional. This made me upset because I like the idea of having a traditional funeral. My grandmother in the other hand had much more of a traditional burial; I took part in this by sitting Shiva. This death was expected since my grandmother was aged. She understood this fact and made it clear that she wanted to be with her husband (in the afterlife). I want to have a traditional Jewish burial which consists of a being wrapped up in a cloth and having the body placed in a pine casket. This casket would then be buried into the ground and decomposed back into earth. I don’t have much of an idea about the afterlife since Judaism does not have a strong focus on the afterlife. I guess there will be lots of clouds and a big man with a beard (possibly a rabbi). I do not want my religion to be oppressive on me. Religion should play a part in a meaningful life but it should not be forced upon you.”
After attending the Islamic class which focused on the afterlife in Islam and hearing about thoughts from those who follow different faiths made me realize that religion does indeed affect the way one approaches death and his/her thoughts on the afterlife.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Hwk 54
Growing up as a Muslim I wasn’t exposed to any topics related to death and the afterlife. I have basic knowledge on the topic, but I want to form a deeper meaning on this concept. I decided to read translations from the Quran and Hadith that are based on the issue of death and the afterlife. Muslims believe that after facing the judgment of Allah they will either enter through the gates of paradise or go to hell. This decision is based upon how one lives their life and how much faith they have. Right after ones death, the soul is taken from the body by angels. The newly dead will be asked three questions which will determine how he/she will spend the time in his/her grave. These three questions are: Who is your God? Who is your Prophet? and lastly, what is your faith? If the newly dead answers these questions correctly he/she will spend the time in their grave accordingly until the day of resuurection.
Reading through the translations from the Quran and the Hadith I thought to myself about how I view caring for the dead. After reading and viewing how the American society and how they approach their dead, I was able to compare and contast on a different level. Some of the basic concepts are the same, but there are a number of small things which tend to make an Islamic approach to death very different when compared to the American approach to death. Before reading parts from the Quran and Hadith on death in Islam, I have had vague knowledge on how Islam teaches its followers about caring for the dead and the afterlife. I already knew most of what I read, but I was able to learn about everything on a much deeper level. I think the way Islam approaches death is the way everyone should approach death. The afterlife in Islam shapes how many Muslim people live their lives in this world. By following all the sayings from the Quran and the Hadith they will have a better chance of entering through the gates of paradise. But if they commit sins and lie throughout their life they will serve justice in Hell. It also depends on ones faith and how true they are to their faith.
“The soul of the faithful person, which is easily removed from the body, is clothed in a heavenly and sweet smelling garment by radiant and smiling angels. The soul is taken through the seven heavens, entering the presence of God who then orders the angels to return the soul to its earthly body until the day of judgment. On the other hand, the soul of the unbelieving person is removed from its body with a great deal of struggle. The angel of death clothes the soul with a foul smelling garment. The angel responsible for the wicked soul also tries to take the soul through the various levels of heaven but he gates of heaven are not opened to them." (Qur'an 7:40)
I decided to interview the Imam from the Masjid near my house. Angels are mentioned throughout the Quran and many Hadith. I know that Christianity and Judaism mentions angels as they do in Islam, so I decided to ask him if there are any similarities or differences between these angels. He replied: “Yes. angels in Islam are believed to be the same way as they are in Christianity and Judaism. They are sent by God to be with humans and help them right their deeds or protect them. If someone is in danger an angel can be sent down in the form of another person to assist the one in need of help.” (Shamsi). I was aware that the Christian and Jewish faith had belief in angels, but I didn’t know that the angels serve the same purpose in all three major faiths. Then I asked him about the afterlife and if we will have any relations with others such as our spouses from this life. He replied: “God mentions that if those that are admitted into Heaven are single, they would be married or paired off. They would have 'purified spouses' in paradise." (Shamsi) I thought this was interesting; I have heard that the one you marry in this life stays with you in the afterlife, but I wasn't clear about it until now.
After interviewing the Imam in addition to my research, I was able to have a much better understanding on the afterlife based on the Islamic faith and how it is very similar to other faiths. Even though the concept is similar in all faiths, the American society tends to deal with caring for the dead in a different manner. For example in the film titled "The Family Undertaking" the families of the deceased were dressing up the body in favorite clothing and decorating the caskets. This makes no sense to me because none of this will affect the one who has enetered their afterlife. They have left this world for good, and no matter what is done here in rememberance of the deceased there will be no change on their afterlife (this is my personal belief based on Islamic faith). In Islam instead of performing such rituals while caring for the dead, we make sure to recite the Quran as many times as possible and do good deeds such as helping out in charity on behalf of the newly deceased. I personally feel that the Islamic way of caring for the dead and its beliefs on the afterlife are essential to how I live my life. If it weren’t for the afterlife I would be living a meaningless life. This life for me is basically a test for me; if I pass I will enter through the gates of heaven, but if I fail I will go to hell and serve justice for my sins.
Reading through the translations from the Quran and the Hadith I thought to myself about how I view caring for the dead. After reading and viewing how the American society and how they approach their dead, I was able to compare and contast on a different level. Some of the basic concepts are the same, but there are a number of small things which tend to make an Islamic approach to death very different when compared to the American approach to death. Before reading parts from the Quran and Hadith on death in Islam, I have had vague knowledge on how Islam teaches its followers about caring for the dead and the afterlife. I already knew most of what I read, but I was able to learn about everything on a much deeper level. I think the way Islam approaches death is the way everyone should approach death. The afterlife in Islam shapes how many Muslim people live their lives in this world. By following all the sayings from the Quran and the Hadith they will have a better chance of entering through the gates of paradise. But if they commit sins and lie throughout their life they will serve justice in Hell. It also depends on ones faith and how true they are to their faith.
“The soul of the faithful person, which is easily removed from the body, is clothed in a heavenly and sweet smelling garment by radiant and smiling angels. The soul is taken through the seven heavens, entering the presence of God who then orders the angels to return the soul to its earthly body until the day of judgment. On the other hand, the soul of the unbelieving person is removed from its body with a great deal of struggle. The angel of death clothes the soul with a foul smelling garment. The angel responsible for the wicked soul also tries to take the soul through the various levels of heaven but he gates of heaven are not opened to them." (Qur'an 7:40)
I decided to interview the Imam from the Masjid near my house. Angels are mentioned throughout the Quran and many Hadith. I know that Christianity and Judaism mentions angels as they do in Islam, so I decided to ask him if there are any similarities or differences between these angels. He replied: “Yes. angels in Islam are believed to be the same way as they are in Christianity and Judaism. They are sent by God to be with humans and help them right their deeds or protect them. If someone is in danger an angel can be sent down in the form of another person to assist the one in need of help.” (Shamsi). I was aware that the Christian and Jewish faith had belief in angels, but I didn’t know that the angels serve the same purpose in all three major faiths. Then I asked him about the afterlife and if we will have any relations with others such as our spouses from this life. He replied: “God mentions that if those that are admitted into Heaven are single, they would be married or paired off. They would have 'purified spouses' in paradise." (Shamsi) I thought this was interesting; I have heard that the one you marry in this life stays with you in the afterlife, but I wasn't clear about it until now.
After interviewing the Imam in addition to my research, I was able to have a much better understanding on the afterlife based on the Islamic faith and how it is very similar to other faiths. Even though the concept is similar in all faiths, the American society tends to deal with caring for the dead in a different manner. For example in the film titled "The Family Undertaking" the families of the deceased were dressing up the body in favorite clothing and decorating the caskets. This makes no sense to me because none of this will affect the one who has enetered their afterlife. They have left this world for good, and no matter what is done here in rememberance of the deceased there will be no change on their afterlife (this is my personal belief based on Islamic faith). In Islam instead of performing such rituals while caring for the dead, we make sure to recite the Quran as many times as possible and do good deeds such as helping out in charity on behalf of the newly deceased. I personally feel that the Islamic way of caring for the dead and its beliefs on the afterlife are essential to how I live my life. If it weren’t for the afterlife I would be living a meaningless life. This life for me is basically a test for me; if I pass I will enter through the gates of heaven, but if I fail I will go to hell and serve justice for my sins.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Hwk 53
A.)
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/04/opinion/04iht-edhalevi.1.5565834.html
Precis:
Not many non-Muslims are aware of the Islamic views on death and the afterlife. In Islamic beliefs, the time between death and burial allows the spirit to witness its body and how it is buried. It is then approached with two angels that question him about his/her life in this world and review all his/her deeds. This will then determine how he/she will wait until the final Day of Judgment. If the Muslim had committed many sins and was not respectable to his/her faith, he/she would experience “torture in the grave”. To ignore this torture, many Muslims seek out for prayers and commit good sins.
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/13/nyregion/13burial.html?adxnnl=1&adxnnlx=1305025630-1KTK2qWTHZq4XOKJbwT/CQ
Precis:
Many Jewish individuals are reforming the way they approach how they care for the dead based on their religious beliefs. During a burial, many of us tend to forget about body itself. The number of Chevra Kadishas in the United States is on the rise since the 1970’s till now. Many Jewish individuals are taking time to learn about the proper way of burial and caring for the dead by attending their local Jewish center. The way to approach the dead is very similar to how one should approach an infant. A funeral in Jewish customs is a very private affair; they are not fond of exposing such an affair to the public.
Analysis:
Coming from a religious Muslim family I am used to following a set of rules for practically everything I do in my life. While reading the first article I was able to connect to myself and how I would approach caring for the dead. After reading the second article I was able to take away a better understanding of how other religions approach caring for the dead. Many of us have come into the United States as immigrants and have lost our religious and traditional roots. We have transformed and it has become hard to tell who we are or where we actually came from. Reading about the Jewish community and how they have become closer to their religion while approaching death over the last few decades, I thought to myself why more communities aren't doing the same thing.
Even though I have grown up being taught about every aspect of life the Islamic way, I was frightened to read about the possibility of “torture after death”. I am constantly reminded of the way I am supposed to live my life and how it will be the outcome of my afterlife. After reading the first article I was once again reminded of this fact. This helps me construct a certain way of how I should live and behave in the society I am a part of . Because I live in the midst of a population whose majority does not have the same religious beliefs as me, I am sometimes sidetracked into trying to figure out what I should do in any situation. By gaining knowledge on such aspects of life, I am automatically pushed back into the right path.
B.)
I decided to do my interview through a simple email; Gutterman Funeral Directors gave me a reply within two days. I approached them with a few questions about how they deal with their business and their customers. Most of the responses I got were very vague. I asked them about how people set up their own funerals. They said that this is a very common case; some customers act a bit awkward while talking about such a situation, while others discuss the matter as if they would be discussing any other topic. This gives them a chance to discuss how they want their funeral and make sure they give as many details as possible. When people set up a funeral for their loved ones they are not very sure of how their loved one would have wanted things to go during their funeral. By having someone set up their own funeral they are able to ensure that their final wishes are carried out thoroughly.
I then asked about how the public reacts when they learn that they are dealing with someone who works in the funeral industry. They replied by saying that they usually get a normal response, but sometimes they sense a bit of awkwardness when they share such a fact. I later on asked about if they enjoy working in the funeral industry; they said they feel as if they have the need to work in the funeral industry. It helps them connect with others in a way not many of us are able to connect with each other. They are able to help fulfill their customers and their last wishes in order to make sure they get what they deserve. It is tough to ensure all the wishes of the deceased exactly how their families want them to be carried out. At the end of the funeral service they state that they are glad to take part of fulfilling all their last desires.
I felt like the responses I received were sugar coated coffee beans; sweet on the outside yet bitter in the inside. After reading Mitford’s The American way of Death Revisited, I realized that the funeral industry is yet another industry which tends to fool its costumers into paying unnecessary sums of cash. These people only want your money nothing else. Unless if they are willing to do such an act at no cost, I will not be able to believe that they are fulfilling all the needs of the customer. It’s always a give and take system in our society; we are willing to do something, but always it will only be done at a price. In this particular case, any price won’t do; the price has to meet with the high requirements of those in the funeral industry. It makes no sense at all to offer services which have no effect on the one who is already passed on. Offer services such as embalming, dressing up the body in its favorite clothes, etc... will only affect those who are living. I believe that we all leave this world with what we came with; 2 books, one which has been recorded with our good deeds and another which has been recorded with our bad deeds.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/04/opinion/04iht-edhalevi.1.5565834.html
Precis:
Not many non-Muslims are aware of the Islamic views on death and the afterlife. In Islamic beliefs, the time between death and burial allows the spirit to witness its body and how it is buried. It is then approached with two angels that question him about his/her life in this world and review all his/her deeds. This will then determine how he/she will wait until the final Day of Judgment. If the Muslim had committed many sins and was not respectable to his/her faith, he/she would experience “torture in the grave”. To ignore this torture, many Muslims seek out for prayers and commit good sins.
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/13/nyregion/13burial.html?adxnnl=1&adxnnlx=1305025630-1KTK2qWTHZq4XOKJbwT/CQ
Precis:
Many Jewish individuals are reforming the way they approach how they care for the dead based on their religious beliefs. During a burial, many of us tend to forget about body itself. The number of Chevra Kadishas in the United States is on the rise since the 1970’s till now. Many Jewish individuals are taking time to learn about the proper way of burial and caring for the dead by attending their local Jewish center. The way to approach the dead is very similar to how one should approach an infant. A funeral in Jewish customs is a very private affair; they are not fond of exposing such an affair to the public.
Analysis:
Coming from a religious Muslim family I am used to following a set of rules for practically everything I do in my life. While reading the first article I was able to connect to myself and how I would approach caring for the dead. After reading the second article I was able to take away a better understanding of how other religions approach caring for the dead. Many of us have come into the United States as immigrants and have lost our religious and traditional roots. We have transformed and it has become hard to tell who we are or where we actually came from. Reading about the Jewish community and how they have become closer to their religion while approaching death over the last few decades, I thought to myself why more communities aren't doing the same thing.
Even though I have grown up being taught about every aspect of life the Islamic way, I was frightened to read about the possibility of “torture after death”. I am constantly reminded of the way I am supposed to live my life and how it will be the outcome of my afterlife. After reading the first article I was once again reminded of this fact. This helps me construct a certain way of how I should live and behave in the society I am a part of . Because I live in the midst of a population whose majority does not have the same religious beliefs as me, I am sometimes sidetracked into trying to figure out what I should do in any situation. By gaining knowledge on such aspects of life, I am automatically pushed back into the right path.
B.)
I decided to do my interview through a simple email; Gutterman Funeral Directors gave me a reply within two days. I approached them with a few questions about how they deal with their business and their customers. Most of the responses I got were very vague. I asked them about how people set up their own funerals. They said that this is a very common case; some customers act a bit awkward while talking about such a situation, while others discuss the matter as if they would be discussing any other topic. This gives them a chance to discuss how they want their funeral and make sure they give as many details as possible. When people set up a funeral for their loved ones they are not very sure of how their loved one would have wanted things to go during their funeral. By having someone set up their own funeral they are able to ensure that their final wishes are carried out thoroughly.
I then asked about how the public reacts when they learn that they are dealing with someone who works in the funeral industry. They replied by saying that they usually get a normal response, but sometimes they sense a bit of awkwardness when they share such a fact. I later on asked about if they enjoy working in the funeral industry; they said they feel as if they have the need to work in the funeral industry. It helps them connect with others in a way not many of us are able to connect with each other. They are able to help fulfill their customers and their last wishes in order to make sure they get what they deserve. It is tough to ensure all the wishes of the deceased exactly how their families want them to be carried out. At the end of the funeral service they state that they are glad to take part of fulfilling all their last desires.
I felt like the responses I received were sugar coated coffee beans; sweet on the outside yet bitter in the inside. After reading Mitford’s The American way of Death Revisited, I realized that the funeral industry is yet another industry which tends to fool its costumers into paying unnecessary sums of cash. These people only want your money nothing else. Unless if they are willing to do such an act at no cost, I will not be able to believe that they are fulfilling all the needs of the customer. It’s always a give and take system in our society; we are willing to do something, but always it will only be done at a price. In this particular case, any price won’t do; the price has to meet with the high requirements of those in the funeral industry. It makes no sense at all to offer services which have no effect on the one who is already passed on. Offer services such as embalming, dressing up the body in its favorite clothes, etc... will only affect those who are living. I believe that we all leave this world with what we came with; 2 books, one which has been recorded with our good deeds and another which has been recorded with our bad deeds.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Hwk 52
Precis:
The method of embalming dates back to Ancient Egypt; many individuals in the funeral industry like the idea of embalming since it is an easy way to earn a good sum of cash. Funeral directors will use a long list of excuses for you to fall under the impression that embalming is a necessary part of a burial. The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) has attempted to try and fix the flawed funeral industry, yet failed to do so. England approaches death in a different manner when compared to our modern approach to death in the United States. Funerals in England are not as pricey as they are in the U.S. and the customers aren’t fooled into paying more money for a greater profit. Some Americans are leaning towards an effortless funeral for their loved one(s) and this tends to frighten the funeral industry.
Quotes:
-"Bring me my porridge" - while not earth-shattering, have at least the merit of being historically accurate" (pg. 153).
-“Well, maybe the husband is trying to guy her up a bit. Perhaps he was always saying to her, ‘you should go on a diet,’ and now he is just getting even. Who knows?” (pg. 179)
-“Can You Afford to Die?” (pg. 252)
Analysis:
In our society today, the approach to caring for the dead compares in many ways to how we approach food. We are always selfish with our customers in order to gain a greater profit. We tend to fool the public by using a flawed system to present a polished industry. In the food unit flawed systems were set up throughout the United States in order to provide consumers with fruits and vegetables grown with the help of pesticides, and meat which was provided with the help of stimulating the growth of animals. To keep the public hidden from all this, they were presented in a way for them to assume as if everything was done the way it is supposed to be done. Comparatively, the U.S. approaches the care of the dead in a similar manner. People who take part of the funeral industry are after the money; they have no concerns with their customers and their emotions. They will make up any excuses they have to get the highest sum of pay possible. They use the method of embalming to earn a good amount of cash. They will offer you services which will make the funeral of your loved one(s) look “prettier” and worth spending large sums of money on. I don’t think this connects to only the Food unit; it connects with all our prior units. In each and every unit we saw that people will do anything to get what they want; in this case money.
The method of embalming dates back to Ancient Egypt; many individuals in the funeral industry like the idea of embalming since it is an easy way to earn a good sum of cash. Funeral directors will use a long list of excuses for you to fall under the impression that embalming is a necessary part of a burial. The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) has attempted to try and fix the flawed funeral industry, yet failed to do so. England approaches death in a different manner when compared to our modern approach to death in the United States. Funerals in England are not as pricey as they are in the U.S. and the customers aren’t fooled into paying more money for a greater profit. Some Americans are leaning towards an effortless funeral for their loved one(s) and this tends to frighten the funeral industry.
Quotes:
-"Bring me my porridge" - while not earth-shattering, have at least the merit of being historically accurate" (pg. 153).
-“Well, maybe the husband is trying to guy her up a bit. Perhaps he was always saying to her, ‘you should go on a diet,’ and now he is just getting even. Who knows?” (pg. 179)
-“Can You Afford to Die?” (pg. 252)
Analysis:
In our society today, the approach to caring for the dead compares in many ways to how we approach food. We are always selfish with our customers in order to gain a greater profit. We tend to fool the public by using a flawed system to present a polished industry. In the food unit flawed systems were set up throughout the United States in order to provide consumers with fruits and vegetables grown with the help of pesticides, and meat which was provided with the help of stimulating the growth of animals. To keep the public hidden from all this, they were presented in a way for them to assume as if everything was done the way it is supposed to be done. Comparatively, the U.S. approaches the care of the dead in a similar manner. People who take part of the funeral industry are after the money; they have no concerns with their customers and their emotions. They will make up any excuses they have to get the highest sum of pay possible. They use the method of embalming to earn a good amount of cash. They will offer you services which will make the funeral of your loved one(s) look “prettier” and worth spending large sums of money on. I don’t think this connects to only the Food unit; it connects with all our prior units. In each and every unit we saw that people will do anything to get what they want; in this case money.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Hwk 51
Precis:
The number of deaths is on the rise as a result of population growth, in other words there will always be hope for profit for those in the funeral industry. These people are purchasing land, then selling it off piece by piece while setting rules which will be followed by their customers. If you thought you were done with purchasing just this piece of land then you are wrong. You will still have a need to purchase other accessories such as flowers, or a plaque to help beautify your loved ones burial spot. People in the funeral industry make you think that your money is used for services such as having a nice location for the burial, but in reality most of the money is for the cemetery owners personal expenses. Um options are being expanded since cremation rates are on the rise. Even though cremation is cheaper, these people will try their hardest to do business with you at a price which will keep them content. If you choose to cremate the body of a loved one, they will offer you a space for the um can be kept in.
Quotes:
*I don't really like this book...so it's hard to find quotes I actually enjoy reading through...
-“Dear friend, In a few weeks the forsythia and daffodils will raise their golden horns to the sky and trumpet in the warm winds of spring” (pg. 94).
-"In sober fact, every day is a day of judgment" (page 113).
-“The theme that the American public, rather than the funeral industry, is responsible for our funeral practices-because it demands “the best” in embalming and merchandise for the dead-is one often expounded by funeral men. ‘We are merely giving the public what it wants,’ they say” (pg. 123).
Analysis:
It saddens me to see that the funeral industry takes advantage of emotions in order for their pockets to be filled. They use a number of alternatives to try and fool their customers to pay them more money than needed. Our society is very self-centered; in all of the books I have read in this course I noticed that people in our society will do anything to get what they want, in this case it would be money. They will make up excuses to earn some extra cash, for example when a customer wants a body to be cremated they are offered space for the um to be kept in at a “good” price. I think that’s absurd, now a day’s people will offer anything they can in order to get a hold of money. Our society is fond of taking one aspect and dissecting it in every which way possible to get a good profit. I find it to be strange that so many of us tend to fall for it; we are always too busy with unnecessary occupancies to notice the harsh reality which we are facing. With every twist and turn we take in this society we will be fooled to pay more than what we should actually be paying. I think Mitford does a good job of getting this point across to her readers. She uses her sense of humor to keep her readers entertained, yet realize what goes on in our society behind drawn curtains.
The number of deaths is on the rise as a result of population growth, in other words there will always be hope for profit for those in the funeral industry. These people are purchasing land, then selling it off piece by piece while setting rules which will be followed by their customers. If you thought you were done with purchasing just this piece of land then you are wrong. You will still have a need to purchase other accessories such as flowers, or a plaque to help beautify your loved ones burial spot. People in the funeral industry make you think that your money is used for services such as having a nice location for the burial, but in reality most of the money is for the cemetery owners personal expenses. Um options are being expanded since cremation rates are on the rise. Even though cremation is cheaper, these people will try their hardest to do business with you at a price which will keep them content. If you choose to cremate the body of a loved one, they will offer you a space for the um can be kept in.
Quotes:
*I don't really like this book...so it's hard to find quotes I actually enjoy reading through...
-“Dear friend, In a few weeks the forsythia and daffodils will raise their golden horns to the sky and trumpet in the warm winds of spring” (pg. 94).
-"In sober fact, every day is a day of judgment" (page 113).
-“The theme that the American public, rather than the funeral industry, is responsible for our funeral practices-because it demands “the best” in embalming and merchandise for the dead-is one often expounded by funeral men. ‘We are merely giving the public what it wants,’ they say” (pg. 123).
Analysis:
It saddens me to see that the funeral industry takes advantage of emotions in order for their pockets to be filled. They use a number of alternatives to try and fool their customers to pay them more money than needed. Our society is very self-centered; in all of the books I have read in this course I noticed that people in our society will do anything to get what they want, in this case it would be money. They will make up excuses to earn some extra cash, for example when a customer wants a body to be cremated they are offered space for the um to be kept in at a “good” price. I think that’s absurd, now a day’s people will offer anything they can in order to get a hold of money. Our society is fond of taking one aspect and dissecting it in every which way possible to get a good profit. I find it to be strange that so many of us tend to fall for it; we are always too busy with unnecessary occupancies to notice the harsh reality which we are facing. With every twist and turn we take in this society we will be fooled to pay more than what we should actually be paying. I think Mitford does a good job of getting this point across to her readers. She uses her sense of humor to keep her readers entertained, yet realize what goes on in our society behind drawn curtains.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Hwk 49
To Kevin:
Kevin,
You had a good mix of interviewees. Your interviews helped prove my point about religion/beliefs and how they shape how one approaches care of the dead. I personally did not agree with everything that was said. For example when Danny stated: “The person is dead so they won’t know how they’re body was treated.” I believe that the way a body is treated has a lot to do with their afterlife. It should be treated with care and respect and have a proper disposal which would be a burial (this is my own opinion based on my faith). I am not saying that one should spend 10,000 dollars on a funeral, but I think it’s the thought that counts. You wouldn’t want to do physical damage to the body such as kicking it or jumping up and down on it; it just wouldn’t seem right. That is why I disagree with Danny when he stated that the dead person won’t be affected by how his/her body is treated afterwards. I think this thought of his has a lot to do with him being an atheist; since he doesn’t have certain beliefs he doesn’t really have anything to believe in. He seems to go along with whatever he wants to follow. Thanks for sharing your interviews and your thoughts.
Amber M.
To Martyna:
Martyna,
It was interesting to read about your parents’ and their thoughts on care of the dead. I liked how they connected back to your Polish culture. When I interviewed my parents it was the same case; they kept connecting back to our Pakistani culture and Islam. I believe that faith affects how one shapes their thoughts on topics such as this one. You have grown up in a Christian family, and you were taught their way of approaching death. I think that the questions you asked your parents throughout this interview were a bit out of the ordinary which I thought made your interview interesting. Both of your parents gave honest answers and they seem to be good enough. In our society it is not common to be approached with such questions. At one point you asked you dad if he was afraid of death and he replied by saying that he does not try to think about it. This is true; I myself do not try to think about how I would like to be treated after death; this doesn’t seem to be much of a worry at this point in our lives. But what we don’t understand is that death can approach us any time sooner or later; so why not give it a thought now? Thanks for sharing the interview you conducted with your parents and your thoughts around it.
Amber M.
To Sam:
Sam,
The way you took on this assignment was interesting. You had a couple of quotes in there which helped me understand how your parents approached such questions. It was interesting to compare the responses your mother gave you to what your father gave you. Your mother isn’t as attached to her religious beliefs as much as your father. Because your mother isn’t really religious, all she cares about is her remembrance after her death. Your father does not have a set plan about how he wants his body to be cared for after his death. I like how you were honest throughout your post; your father didn’t seem to have much of a say on the topic. I feel as if many of us are afraid to think of death related issues; it is not something many of us like to discuss, take your father for example. I am sure when you approached your father with such questions he must have felt a bit uneasy; this can be concluded from the vague responses he gave you. Overall good job, I like how you stated your hypothesis towards the end.
Amber M.
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From Kevin:
Amber,
I like how you started your post with that overall summary, it made the post easier to read, and lets the reader know what's going on.
It was impressive that you used quotes in this post, even though they weren't asked for. It made this post have a more authentic feel to it.
You're structure was pretty easy to follow: summary, interview 1, interview 2, interview 3, analysis paragraphs.
It was interesting to find out about the Islamic traditions around death after learning about the Jewish traditions from sams post.
One suggestion I'd make is to keep it short and sweet. Keep only the most important information.
From Martyna:
Amber,
You described interviews with three teenagers of diverse religious backgrounds. This allowed you to make comparisons between different points of view.
I was particularly interested in the interview with your cousin. It included a brief description of a traditional Islamic funeral, which gave me new insight on the subject. Even though I lived in an Arabic country I never came in contact with the culture's attitude toward death (that is - until I read your post).
The the end, you connected what you found out in your interviews to your own opinions. This shows that you thought through and analyzed the information you obtained from your interviewees.
I agree - we don't usually talk about death. I appreciate that you had the courage to ask some of your questions despite them being rather unusual.
Your post was clear and interesting to read. Thank you,
Martyna
From Sam:
Amber,
I think they way you went about this interview was interesting, and there was clearly a lot of work put into it. You took careful notes on what the people were saying and you really payed attention to what caught your interest. You make interesting points about how the christian people weren't sure about whether not they wanted to be cremated. I think that is important to observe the way people with religious differences view the care of the dead. One of the things i would change about this is that you seemed focused on one topic, but i felt like it was too broad. You made remarks about religion and cremation, but you didn't go too in-depth on it. I feel if you took what these people said and was able to take your own personal bias out of it and see how different ideas can all revolve around the same basic concept and maybe see how these people can get these different ideas, then this would have been a lot more insightful. But i did honestly enjoy reading this. Good blog post Amber.
Sam
From Mentor (Mom):
Amber,
I decided to focus on your third paragraph which was about your interview with your cousin. It is nice to know that society has a big impact on how much someone knows about a topic like this one. Here in the United States not many people are educated on the topic of death and caring for the dead. Your cousin tends to show a lot of knowledge on the issue. He had the correct answers according to Islam for every question you asked him. Here, people usually attend funerals just to pay their respects to the ones who have passed on, but later on forget about the event. In your cousins case he seems to know much more about why everything is the way it is when caring for the dead according to his Pakistani society and culture. I am sure you were able to learn a few things yourself while interviewing him. I enjoyed reading your thoughts towards the end. I agree with what you had to say; “Society, culture and religion play a big role in what people have to say about topics such as caring for the dead.”
Mom
From Protege (Brother):
Amber,
You wanted me to focus on the fourth paragraph where you interview your 17 year old friend. I haven’t attended a funeral before, but I am sure I will feel the same way she did if I was to attend one any time soon. I think it takes time for death to actually become reality and this starts to become reality when you are caring for the body. From reading about your friends’ experience, I am getting the message that funerals put you in a daze. You feel as if you need to be pinched to believe that this is reality. Nobody wants to admit that someone has passed on. You later on mention that she is Christian; this gives her the option of having her body cremated. Some beliefs allow cremation, but others don’t; there is no right or wrong in her situation.
Nabil
Kevin,
You had a good mix of interviewees. Your interviews helped prove my point about religion/beliefs and how they shape how one approaches care of the dead. I personally did not agree with everything that was said. For example when Danny stated: “The person is dead so they won’t know how they’re body was treated.” I believe that the way a body is treated has a lot to do with their afterlife. It should be treated with care and respect and have a proper disposal which would be a burial (this is my own opinion based on my faith). I am not saying that one should spend 10,000 dollars on a funeral, but I think it’s the thought that counts. You wouldn’t want to do physical damage to the body such as kicking it or jumping up and down on it; it just wouldn’t seem right. That is why I disagree with Danny when he stated that the dead person won’t be affected by how his/her body is treated afterwards. I think this thought of his has a lot to do with him being an atheist; since he doesn’t have certain beliefs he doesn’t really have anything to believe in. He seems to go along with whatever he wants to follow. Thanks for sharing your interviews and your thoughts.
Amber M.
To Martyna:
Martyna,
It was interesting to read about your parents’ and their thoughts on care of the dead. I liked how they connected back to your Polish culture. When I interviewed my parents it was the same case; they kept connecting back to our Pakistani culture and Islam. I believe that faith affects how one shapes their thoughts on topics such as this one. You have grown up in a Christian family, and you were taught their way of approaching death. I think that the questions you asked your parents throughout this interview were a bit out of the ordinary which I thought made your interview interesting. Both of your parents gave honest answers and they seem to be good enough. In our society it is not common to be approached with such questions. At one point you asked you dad if he was afraid of death and he replied by saying that he does not try to think about it. This is true; I myself do not try to think about how I would like to be treated after death; this doesn’t seem to be much of a worry at this point in our lives. But what we don’t understand is that death can approach us any time sooner or later; so why not give it a thought now? Thanks for sharing the interview you conducted with your parents and your thoughts around it.
Amber M.
To Sam:
Sam,
The way you took on this assignment was interesting. You had a couple of quotes in there which helped me understand how your parents approached such questions. It was interesting to compare the responses your mother gave you to what your father gave you. Your mother isn’t as attached to her religious beliefs as much as your father. Because your mother isn’t really religious, all she cares about is her remembrance after her death. Your father does not have a set plan about how he wants his body to be cared for after his death. I like how you were honest throughout your post; your father didn’t seem to have much of a say on the topic. I feel as if many of us are afraid to think of death related issues; it is not something many of us like to discuss, take your father for example. I am sure when you approached your father with such questions he must have felt a bit uneasy; this can be concluded from the vague responses he gave you. Overall good job, I like how you stated your hypothesis towards the end.
Amber M.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From Kevin:
Amber,
I like how you started your post with that overall summary, it made the post easier to read, and lets the reader know what's going on.
It was impressive that you used quotes in this post, even though they weren't asked for. It made this post have a more authentic feel to it.
You're structure was pretty easy to follow: summary, interview 1, interview 2, interview 3, analysis paragraphs.
It was interesting to find out about the Islamic traditions around death after learning about the Jewish traditions from sams post.
One suggestion I'd make is to keep it short and sweet. Keep only the most important information.
From Martyna:
Amber,
You described interviews with three teenagers of diverse religious backgrounds. This allowed you to make comparisons between different points of view.
I was particularly interested in the interview with your cousin. It included a brief description of a traditional Islamic funeral, which gave me new insight on the subject. Even though I lived in an Arabic country I never came in contact with the culture's attitude toward death (that is - until I read your post).
The the end, you connected what you found out in your interviews to your own opinions. This shows that you thought through and analyzed the information you obtained from your interviewees.
I agree - we don't usually talk about death. I appreciate that you had the courage to ask some of your questions despite them being rather unusual.
Your post was clear and interesting to read. Thank you,
Martyna
From Sam:
Amber,
I think they way you went about this interview was interesting, and there was clearly a lot of work put into it. You took careful notes on what the people were saying and you really payed attention to what caught your interest. You make interesting points about how the christian people weren't sure about whether not they wanted to be cremated. I think that is important to observe the way people with religious differences view the care of the dead. One of the things i would change about this is that you seemed focused on one topic, but i felt like it was too broad. You made remarks about religion and cremation, but you didn't go too in-depth on it. I feel if you took what these people said and was able to take your own personal bias out of it and see how different ideas can all revolve around the same basic concept and maybe see how these people can get these different ideas, then this would have been a lot more insightful. But i did honestly enjoy reading this. Good blog post Amber.
Sam
From Mentor (Mom):
Amber,
I decided to focus on your third paragraph which was about your interview with your cousin. It is nice to know that society has a big impact on how much someone knows about a topic like this one. Here in the United States not many people are educated on the topic of death and caring for the dead. Your cousin tends to show a lot of knowledge on the issue. He had the correct answers according to Islam for every question you asked him. Here, people usually attend funerals just to pay their respects to the ones who have passed on, but later on forget about the event. In your cousins case he seems to know much more about why everything is the way it is when caring for the dead according to his Pakistani society and culture. I am sure you were able to learn a few things yourself while interviewing him. I enjoyed reading your thoughts towards the end. I agree with what you had to say; “Society, culture and religion play a big role in what people have to say about topics such as caring for the dead.”
Mom
From Protege (Brother):
Amber,
You wanted me to focus on the fourth paragraph where you interview your 17 year old friend. I haven’t attended a funeral before, but I am sure I will feel the same way she did if I was to attend one any time soon. I think it takes time for death to actually become reality and this starts to become reality when you are caring for the body. From reading about your friends’ experience, I am getting the message that funerals put you in a daze. You feel as if you need to be pinched to believe that this is reality. Nobody wants to admit that someone has passed on. You later on mention that she is Christian; this gives her the option of having her body cremated. Some beliefs allow cremation, but others don’t; there is no right or wrong in her situation.
Nabil
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Hwk 50
Precis:
The American Way of Death (Revisited) By Jessica Mitford
Mitford is humorous as she approaches the funeral industry in our society in her revised version of the original book titled The American Way of Death which was published in 1963. Firstly she attends a seminar where she discusses her book and receives various comments from her audience. Later on she presents the issue of how the dead are cared for. Terms revolving around death are being exchanged for words that seem to sound more acceptable. Mitford then talks about the profession of funerals and the certain rules which are followed. Funeral directors make rules which will help them collect as much money as possible from their potential customers. Caskets are arranged in a various number of ways resulting in different price ranges; this helps the customer chose which casket is appropriate for their personal situation. Emotions are usually played with when it comes to the money which will be paid for such services; this tends to affect the customers decisions. Mitford then talks about how the body is readied for its casket, later on mentioning the topic of embalming.
Quotes:
- “Motels for the dead! That’s it, of course-a swimming pool and TV the only missing features.” (pg. 39)
- "How true; once the blood is removed, chances of live burial are indeed remote" (page 46).
- “Our customs require the presentation of our dead in the semblance of normality…unmarred by the ravages of illness, disease or mutilation,” (pg.47)
Analysis:
I found it surprising that people in our society as of today take advantage of everything they can in order to collect as much money as they can. In this case funeral directors take advantage of the situation and make their customers pay more money for reason. I think Mitford is right when she said that the funeral industry is brainwashed to believe inaccurate information. I personally feel that our society likes to take advantage of opportunities such as this by making up excuses. No matter what the situation may be they only tend to care about the amount of money going in their pocket. I think it’s absurd to do that within the funeral industry because this tends to deal with people’s emotions and usually at the time customers are emotionally sensitive. While reading, I was able to connect to the book I read in the birth unit titled Born in the USA. There they talked about hospitals and women having C-sections while paying large sums of money, even though they are not getting the attention they need. It’s the same type of idea here but with the funeral industry. In both cases the bigger authorities such as the doctors or funeral directors only seem to care about the money instead of the happiness of their customers. Overall I think Mitford does a good job of introducing the funeral industry to the public. Such issues seem to be hidden from society, but this text helps readers such as I realize the truth.
The American Way of Death (Revisited) By Jessica Mitford
Mitford is humorous as she approaches the funeral industry in our society in her revised version of the original book titled The American Way of Death which was published in 1963. Firstly she attends a seminar where she discusses her book and receives various comments from her audience. Later on she presents the issue of how the dead are cared for. Terms revolving around death are being exchanged for words that seem to sound more acceptable. Mitford then talks about the profession of funerals and the certain rules which are followed. Funeral directors make rules which will help them collect as much money as possible from their potential customers. Caskets are arranged in a various number of ways resulting in different price ranges; this helps the customer chose which casket is appropriate for their personal situation. Emotions are usually played with when it comes to the money which will be paid for such services; this tends to affect the customers decisions. Mitford then talks about how the body is readied for its casket, later on mentioning the topic of embalming.
Quotes:
- “Motels for the dead! That’s it, of course-a swimming pool and TV the only missing features.” (pg. 39)
- "How true; once the blood is removed, chances of live burial are indeed remote" (page 46).
- “Our customs require the presentation of our dead in the semblance of normality…unmarred by the ravages of illness, disease or mutilation,” (pg.47)
Analysis:
I found it surprising that people in our society as of today take advantage of everything they can in order to collect as much money as they can. In this case funeral directors take advantage of the situation and make their customers pay more money for reason. I think Mitford is right when she said that the funeral industry is brainwashed to believe inaccurate information. I personally feel that our society likes to take advantage of opportunities such as this by making up excuses. No matter what the situation may be they only tend to care about the amount of money going in their pocket. I think it’s absurd to do that within the funeral industry because this tends to deal with people’s emotions and usually at the time customers are emotionally sensitive. While reading, I was able to connect to the book I read in the birth unit titled Born in the USA. There they talked about hospitals and women having C-sections while paying large sums of money, even though they are not getting the attention they need. It’s the same type of idea here but with the funeral industry. In both cases the bigger authorities such as the doctors or funeral directors only seem to care about the money instead of the happiness of their customers. Overall I think Mitford does a good job of introducing the funeral industry to the public. Such issues seem to be hidden from society, but this text helps readers such as I realize the truth.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Hwk 48
I decided to talk to my mom and my dad about the care of the dead. Their beliefs were similar to mine and most of what they had to say on this topic was expected (in my mind). I was glad to choose my mom and dad for this interview since they both have the same beliefs and thoughts, but they have had different experiences and approaches to care of the dead. I asked them questions referring to their experiences with care of the dead and disposal of the body.
My dad has had some experience with caring for the dead after moving here. He has attended a funeral or two for people that he was close to. “I feel that it is important to attend a funeral and pay your respects; you didn’t have to be close with the person who has passed on, but you should still offer them your prayers. It isn’t mandatory, but I feel that it is appropriate for one to do so.” One funeral he attended was over a year ago; it was for a man he worked with for some time. The cause of death was natural since he was aged, so it wasn’t unexpected. This man was Jewish so the funeral ceremony went according to their religious beliefs. I asked my dad about the funeral service; he told me about prayers that were recited in Hebrew and the body which was put in a coffin. The coffin was closed since in Judaism there is no option which allows the casket to be left open. My dad said that his experience at this funeral was interesting because much of the rituals which were performed were similar when comparing them to the funerals which he has attended back in Pakistan. But there were women throughout the whole funeral and it was held at a cemetery home, whereas in the funerals he attended in Pakistan, the women are limited to their homes and the funeral is held at the grave site (for men). I decided to research on care of the dead in Judaism and learned that much of what they do is very similar to what is done in Islam when caring for the dead. For example, both in Islam and Judaism the body is purified and there is no option of cremation.
My mom has never experienced anything related to the care of the dead while living here in the United States. She was only able to tell me about her experiences while she was back at home in Pakistan. “A lot of the rituals which occur while caring for the dead in Pakistan differ in many ways when comparing how the dead are cared for here.” She told me about the different roles males and females play throughout a funeral. She talked about all the women who are gathered at the house of the person who had passed on; they offer their prayers and help out by cooking food in the name of the one who has passed on so that it can be passed out to the poor and needy and the spirit can receive its rewards. The men are the ones which take care of all the outside work such as taking the body to the burial site and offering prayers there.“There is usually a forty day grieving period where everyone pays their respects and offer their prayers, but now it is more common to have a three day grieving period because of what the Prophet Muhammad had said ‘The grieving period after ones death should not exceed three days’”. I asked my mom why women are not allowed to join the men at the grave site; she said that it’s not appropriate, supposedly if females go to the grave site the spirits view them in a negative way. I asked my mom about cremation and she didn’t really want to talk about it; it didn’t feel right talking about it because it made her have negative thoughts. All she said was that cremation is wrong and the only right way to dispose a body is to bury it because that is the only option offered to Muslims.
I think that religion plays a big role in how one cares for the dead. After hearing what my parents had to say about their own personal experiences and thoughts on the topic, I figured that there is a wrong and a right in everything and this differs depending upon ones beliefs. Here in the United States many individuals are free to approach anything however they want; in this case caring for the dead is also approached in various ways. I am not saying that this only happens in the United States, but it is the most common here. In other countries which have a large population of people under the same religion, the body tends to be disposed in a certain way at a higher rate. For example in Pakistan and other countries which base their beliefs off of Islam, usually tend to bury the body instead of cremating it. This is because we strictly follow what Islam asks us to do. In Israel most of the population has beliefs based off of Judaism, meaning that they also tend to bury the body instead of referring to cremation. In India and Japan, the cremation rate is much higher because of what they believe in. All these countries and beliefs seem to have certain rules which tend to be followed while caring for the dead, whereas in the United States there is no right or wrong way of caring for the dead.
My dad has had some experience with caring for the dead after moving here. He has attended a funeral or two for people that he was close to. “I feel that it is important to attend a funeral and pay your respects; you didn’t have to be close with the person who has passed on, but you should still offer them your prayers. It isn’t mandatory, but I feel that it is appropriate for one to do so.” One funeral he attended was over a year ago; it was for a man he worked with for some time. The cause of death was natural since he was aged, so it wasn’t unexpected. This man was Jewish so the funeral ceremony went according to their religious beliefs. I asked my dad about the funeral service; he told me about prayers that were recited in Hebrew and the body which was put in a coffin. The coffin was closed since in Judaism there is no option which allows the casket to be left open. My dad said that his experience at this funeral was interesting because much of the rituals which were performed were similar when comparing them to the funerals which he has attended back in Pakistan. But there were women throughout the whole funeral and it was held at a cemetery home, whereas in the funerals he attended in Pakistan, the women are limited to their homes and the funeral is held at the grave site (for men). I decided to research on care of the dead in Judaism and learned that much of what they do is very similar to what is done in Islam when caring for the dead. For example, both in Islam and Judaism the body is purified and there is no option of cremation.
My mom has never experienced anything related to the care of the dead while living here in the United States. She was only able to tell me about her experiences while she was back at home in Pakistan. “A lot of the rituals which occur while caring for the dead in Pakistan differ in many ways when comparing how the dead are cared for here.” She told me about the different roles males and females play throughout a funeral. She talked about all the women who are gathered at the house of the person who had passed on; they offer their prayers and help out by cooking food in the name of the one who has passed on so that it can be passed out to the poor and needy and the spirit can receive its rewards. The men are the ones which take care of all the outside work such as taking the body to the burial site and offering prayers there.“There is usually a forty day grieving period where everyone pays their respects and offer their prayers, but now it is more common to have a three day grieving period because of what the Prophet Muhammad had said ‘The grieving period after ones death should not exceed three days’”. I asked my mom why women are not allowed to join the men at the grave site; she said that it’s not appropriate, supposedly if females go to the grave site the spirits view them in a negative way. I asked my mom about cremation and she didn’t really want to talk about it; it didn’t feel right talking about it because it made her have negative thoughts. All she said was that cremation is wrong and the only right way to dispose a body is to bury it because that is the only option offered to Muslims.
I think that religion plays a big role in how one cares for the dead. After hearing what my parents had to say about their own personal experiences and thoughts on the topic, I figured that there is a wrong and a right in everything and this differs depending upon ones beliefs. Here in the United States many individuals are free to approach anything however they want; in this case caring for the dead is also approached in various ways. I am not saying that this only happens in the United States, but it is the most common here. In other countries which have a large population of people under the same religion, the body tends to be disposed in a certain way at a higher rate. For example in Pakistan and other countries which base their beliefs off of Islam, usually tend to bury the body instead of cremating it. This is because we strictly follow what Islam asks us to do. In Israel most of the population has beliefs based off of Judaism, meaning that they also tend to bury the body instead of referring to cremation. In India and Japan, the cremation rate is much higher because of what they believe in. All these countries and beliefs seem to have certain rules which tend to be followed while caring for the dead, whereas in the United States there is no right or wrong way of caring for the dead.
Friday, April 22, 2011
***Hwk 47***
I decided to interview three different people; a 16 year old male, a 17 year old female and an 18 year old male. I got mixed responses from my interviewees. By the time I had completed my interviewing I saw some patterns in my results. When it comes to how someone feels while caring for the dead the responses were similar; but when asked about how one should be buried there different responses. Overall I was able to learn a lot while educating each individual about a different aspect of how the dead are cared for. At the same time I was able to deepen my thoughts on the topic as well.
When I interviewed the 16 year old male he didn’t seem to have much experience with caring for the dead. He said that he has attended one funeral when he was 15, but it wasn’t for anyone too close to him. He remembers everyone crying and the environment being really loud; everyone was in black attire. This funeral had the body put in a coffin and taken away to a gravesite. I questioned him about how he was feeling at the time, he answered: “The days after the death are sad because it’s a done deal, there is no turning back, the only option you have is to move on.” I then asked him what he or his family had done differently as a result of the death. He said he remembers his family making dinner for the family of the person that had recently passed away for some nights. I then asked him about why this was done by his family, he said it was a form of pity on them. I started to question him about how a body is disposed and what it says about the spirit that once lived within it. He said that he wasn’t sure, but he would prefer a body getting buried over a body getting cremated. When I asked him why, he said that he didn’t know how to explain it, but he just couldn’t have a body cremated, or see a body being cremated. “The thought of burning a body is just not right in my opinion.” When I asked him about our society and how it deals with caring for the dead he said he didn’t have much to say about that because he hasn’t had anyone close enough to him die. This is why he hasn’t paid much attention to the topic, but when someone close to him passes away he will have a different approach on the topic.
My 18 year old male cousin decided to connect much of what he had to say back to Islam. He said he had attended two funerals in the past. I asked him what type of clothing everyone wore; he responded with telling me that it was only men at the funeral and they wore Kameez Shalwar in different colors. Everyone seemed to be depressed; “death is a very emotional and sensitive topic, it doesn’t matter who dies, even if they are your enemy you are supposed to feel a certain way”. I asked him about what else went on within the funeral; he started talking about how a special order of food was made and eaten by everyone who had attended the funeral. Before having it served, part of the food was put aside to be given out to the poor and needy. Later on we moved on to the topic of the body and how it should be disposed. I asked him about having a burial vs. having a body cremated; he said that in Islam cremation is not allowed, only burial is supposed to occur after ones death. I told him about some countries which cremate their bodies and he said that it was all wrong in his opinion. I asked him why he thought that cremation was wrong; he said that without having a body you cannot pray to it, or give it blessings or read the Quran for it. “When cremated there is nothing left to give prayers to, or read the Quran to. When a body is buried you can do such things and more to give it a blessing for wherever the spirit may be.” By having the body cremated one cannot go to a certain site to send the body and its spirit prayers; in Islam one only goes to heaven with the support of prayers, this is why cremation is not allowed. Having a body cremated also creates a foul smell which isn’t considered a good thing. He then told me about a proper burial, consisting of giving the body a holy bath then covering the nostrils and ears with cotton. Right after, a white cloth is placed over the body and taken away to the grave site by a group of close family members.
When interviewing the a 17 year old female I asked her about her experiences with funerals and the environment at the time. She had attended a funeral, but she couldn’t remember too much about it; it was like a “foggy haze”. She was young at the time and didn’t really grasp what was going on around her; she felt like she was watching everything as if she was an outsider in the scene; like she wasn’t supposed to be there. She felt upset because she couldn’t fully comprehend the situation; yet, she wasn’t really emotional. The casket was open at the funeral she had attended making her feel surreal, “death is surreal in a way, it didn’t really sink in.” She personally doesn’t like funerals because they deal with emotions and she doesn’t like the idea of that; I am sure not many do. When asked about different ways of disposing a body and what it says about the life of the body she answered that the dead should be treated with respect. “It is a personal choice between family and close ones to decide which way the body should be disposed. The way a body is disposed doesn’t really affect the meaning to the life of the body which once lived. There isn’t much of a connection between the two.” I decided to investigate this further by asking her about her thoughts on cremation. “There are a number of reasons for why someone may choose for the body to be cremated, this may be because of financial reasons, etc…” She said this based off of what other people have experienced. She wasn’t really sure how to answer this question since she didn’t have much personal experience on the topic. At the end she said it all depends on ones beliefs and personal choices. For her own case, she stated that in Christianity cremation is not seen as anything disrespectful; she tends to feel the same way. I then asked her about how she would want her body to be handled after death. She said that she wasn’t sure even though she has discussed the topic with her family. She concluded with having a burial and a small funeral service with close ones present, but it all depends on how she had died “If I was in a horrible accident which messed up my face, I would rather be cremated.” I asked her about how she felt about having the body handled by strangers instead of close ones. She said she prefers having close ones handle the dead body because having strangers handle it makes it seem uneasy for others. It is almost a duty for the close ones to handle the body, if strangers were to come in between it would “ruin” the grieving and burial process in her opinion. “I would want to take part of every step leading up to having my loved one go.”
Discussing a topic such as the care of the dead is not a topic commonly discussed amongst many of us. This was a chance for some people including myself to actually pause and think about a topic which is a part of our lives, but doesn’t really get much attention paid to. I got a lot of interesting feedback from each individual I decided to interview. Reading through the interviews I realized that the beliefs one has, affects what they think about caring for the dead. Two of the three interviewees are Christian while one is Muslim. The ones who follow the Christian faith didn’t know what they wanted or what they thought was right; even if they did, they didn’t have much proof to back it up. This applies to the questions which compared burial to cremation.
I personally connected more to my cousin and what he had to say on the topic. I would have answered these questions the same way as he did if someone were to ask me. Society, culture and religion play a big role in what people have to say about topics such as caring for the dead. While I was interviewing a few of these people it was totally random, and I remeber feeling awkward and in the middle of a interview or two taking a minute to ask the interviewee if they felt comfortable answering such questions. I don't really know why I did that, but it was just a natural tendency to do so. I think it's because caring for the dead is not something the we choose to discuss during a normal conversation; we usually tend to go for topics that won't matter much later on.
When I interviewed the 16 year old male he didn’t seem to have much experience with caring for the dead. He said that he has attended one funeral when he was 15, but it wasn’t for anyone too close to him. He remembers everyone crying and the environment being really loud; everyone was in black attire. This funeral had the body put in a coffin and taken away to a gravesite. I questioned him about how he was feeling at the time, he answered: “The days after the death are sad because it’s a done deal, there is no turning back, the only option you have is to move on.” I then asked him what he or his family had done differently as a result of the death. He said he remembers his family making dinner for the family of the person that had recently passed away for some nights. I then asked him about why this was done by his family, he said it was a form of pity on them. I started to question him about how a body is disposed and what it says about the spirit that once lived within it. He said that he wasn’t sure, but he would prefer a body getting buried over a body getting cremated. When I asked him why, he said that he didn’t know how to explain it, but he just couldn’t have a body cremated, or see a body being cremated. “The thought of burning a body is just not right in my opinion.” When I asked him about our society and how it deals with caring for the dead he said he didn’t have much to say about that because he hasn’t had anyone close enough to him die. This is why he hasn’t paid much attention to the topic, but when someone close to him passes away he will have a different approach on the topic.
My 18 year old male cousin decided to connect much of what he had to say back to Islam. He said he had attended two funerals in the past. I asked him what type of clothing everyone wore; he responded with telling me that it was only men at the funeral and they wore Kameez Shalwar in different colors. Everyone seemed to be depressed; “death is a very emotional and sensitive topic, it doesn’t matter who dies, even if they are your enemy you are supposed to feel a certain way”. I asked him about what else went on within the funeral; he started talking about how a special order of food was made and eaten by everyone who had attended the funeral. Before having it served, part of the food was put aside to be given out to the poor and needy. Later on we moved on to the topic of the body and how it should be disposed. I asked him about having a burial vs. having a body cremated; he said that in Islam cremation is not allowed, only burial is supposed to occur after ones death. I told him about some countries which cremate their bodies and he said that it was all wrong in his opinion. I asked him why he thought that cremation was wrong; he said that without having a body you cannot pray to it, or give it blessings or read the Quran for it. “When cremated there is nothing left to give prayers to, or read the Quran to. When a body is buried you can do such things and more to give it a blessing for wherever the spirit may be.” By having the body cremated one cannot go to a certain site to send the body and its spirit prayers; in Islam one only goes to heaven with the support of prayers, this is why cremation is not allowed. Having a body cremated also creates a foul smell which isn’t considered a good thing. He then told me about a proper burial, consisting of giving the body a holy bath then covering the nostrils and ears with cotton. Right after, a white cloth is placed over the body and taken away to the grave site by a group of close family members.
When interviewing the a 17 year old female I asked her about her experiences with funerals and the environment at the time. She had attended a funeral, but she couldn’t remember too much about it; it was like a “foggy haze”. She was young at the time and didn’t really grasp what was going on around her; she felt like she was watching everything as if she was an outsider in the scene; like she wasn’t supposed to be there. She felt upset because she couldn’t fully comprehend the situation; yet, she wasn’t really emotional. The casket was open at the funeral she had attended making her feel surreal, “death is surreal in a way, it didn’t really sink in.” She personally doesn’t like funerals because they deal with emotions and she doesn’t like the idea of that; I am sure not many do. When asked about different ways of disposing a body and what it says about the life of the body she answered that the dead should be treated with respect. “It is a personal choice between family and close ones to decide which way the body should be disposed. The way a body is disposed doesn’t really affect the meaning to the life of the body which once lived. There isn’t much of a connection between the two.” I decided to investigate this further by asking her about her thoughts on cremation. “There are a number of reasons for why someone may choose for the body to be cremated, this may be because of financial reasons, etc…” She said this based off of what other people have experienced. She wasn’t really sure how to answer this question since she didn’t have much personal experience on the topic. At the end she said it all depends on ones beliefs and personal choices. For her own case, she stated that in Christianity cremation is not seen as anything disrespectful; she tends to feel the same way. I then asked her about how she would want her body to be handled after death. She said that she wasn’t sure even though she has discussed the topic with her family. She concluded with having a burial and a small funeral service with close ones present, but it all depends on how she had died “If I was in a horrible accident which messed up my face, I would rather be cremated.” I asked her about how she felt about having the body handled by strangers instead of close ones. She said she prefers having close ones handle the dead body because having strangers handle it makes it seem uneasy for others. It is almost a duty for the close ones to handle the body, if strangers were to come in between it would “ruin” the grieving and burial process in her opinion. “I would want to take part of every step leading up to having my loved one go.”
Discussing a topic such as the care of the dead is not a topic commonly discussed amongst many of us. This was a chance for some people including myself to actually pause and think about a topic which is a part of our lives, but doesn’t really get much attention paid to. I got a lot of interesting feedback from each individual I decided to interview. Reading through the interviews I realized that the beliefs one has, affects what they think about caring for the dead. Two of the three interviewees are Christian while one is Muslim. The ones who follow the Christian faith didn’t know what they wanted or what they thought was right; even if they did, they didn’t have much proof to back it up. This applies to the questions which compared burial to cremation.
I personally connected more to my cousin and what he had to say on the topic. I would have answered these questions the same way as he did if someone were to ask me. Society, culture and religion play a big role in what people have to say about topics such as caring for the dead. While I was interviewing a few of these people it was totally random, and I remeber feeling awkward and in the middle of a interview or two taking a minute to ask the interviewee if they felt comfortable answering such questions. I don't really know why I did that, but it was just a natural tendency to do so. I think it's because caring for the dead is not something the we choose to discuss during a normal conversation; we usually tend to go for topics that won't matter much later on.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Hwk 46
Growing up I have always been kept at a distance when it came to anything related to death. The only time I can recall myself being in a situation where I was “close” to death is when I was very young. One time while attending madrasah, my class was told to join a special prayer for the passing of someone. I remember that this prayer was a little different compared to the five daily prayers I perform. The only reason why I was able to take a part in this event was because I wasn’t under the supervision of my parents. If my parents, in this particular case my mom were with me at the time she would have hesitated in giving me permission to attend. I know she would have said yes, but it wouldn’t be a yes without giving much thought to it. I think there are many reasons for this; some are understandable, while others aren’t. I usually feel as if my parents (again, especially my mom) tend to try to keep me far away from anything related to death.
Caring for the dead is perceived differently in each and every culture. From what I see here living amongst Western culture, movies and the media have a different approach about caring for the dead. This is very different when compared to how it is perceived back at home. Even though the rituals may differ, I think most of us have the same type of feelings when it comes to caring for the dead; loss, grief, sorrow, etc…I have never seen a real dead body in person, and to be honest I wouldn’t be so fond of seeing one either. Thinking of a cold, motionless body is a scary thought (at least for me). I know that we all have a reason to react a certain way after a death and these may be similar in many ways, but our beliefs and approaches differ in many ways.
It’s been a year now since my grandfather died; my parents were able to visit him in Pakistan at the time he was sick. Some moments after they had arrived to the hospital, my grandfather died because of some complications. After coming back from their gruesome trip, I was able to ask my parents about how they had cared for my grandfather (grandfather’s body) after he had died. In our culture as soon as someone dies their body is taken away to be washed in order to get ready for its grave. After being washed the body is covered with a white cloth and all men close in family take the body away to the grave site. This is very different from how death is portrayed here in the United States. I don’t have much knowledge on American funerals or memorial services, but from what I have seen and heard care of the dead in this society differs in many ways from how the dead are cared for back at home.
What are the benefits of a coffin? Will these benefits help the dead in the “afterlife”?
Questions:
-How much does a funeral cost? How do these costs differ in different societies?
-Why does the color black represent death? (usually worn to funerals)
-Can one be happy while caring for the dead?
-Does an individual plan their own funeral, or do their close ones plan it for them?
-How does one feel while planning their own funeral? We often tend to plan our wedding or plan a birth; why isn’t planning your own funeral as big of a concern?
Caring for the dead is perceived differently in each and every culture. From what I see here living amongst Western culture, movies and the media have a different approach about caring for the dead. This is very different when compared to how it is perceived back at home. Even though the rituals may differ, I think most of us have the same type of feelings when it comes to caring for the dead; loss, grief, sorrow, etc…I have never seen a real dead body in person, and to be honest I wouldn’t be so fond of seeing one either. Thinking of a cold, motionless body is a scary thought (at least for me). I know that we all have a reason to react a certain way after a death and these may be similar in many ways, but our beliefs and approaches differ in many ways.
It’s been a year now since my grandfather died; my parents were able to visit him in Pakistan at the time he was sick. Some moments after they had arrived to the hospital, my grandfather died because of some complications. After coming back from their gruesome trip, I was able to ask my parents about how they had cared for my grandfather (grandfather’s body) after he had died. In our culture as soon as someone dies their body is taken away to be washed in order to get ready for its grave. After being washed the body is covered with a white cloth and all men close in family take the body away to the grave site. This is very different from how death is portrayed here in the United States. I don’t have much knowledge on American funerals or memorial services, but from what I have seen and heard care of the dead in this society differs in many ways from how the dead are cared for back at home.
What are the benefits of a coffin? Will these benefits help the dead in the “afterlife”?
Questions:
-How much does a funeral cost? How do these costs differ in different societies?
-Why does the color black represent death? (usually worn to funerals)
-Can one be happy while caring for the dead?
-Does an individual plan their own funeral, or do their close ones plan it for them?
-How does one feel while planning their own funeral? We often tend to plan our wedding or plan a birth; why isn’t planning your own funeral as big of a concern?
Monday, April 11, 2011
Hwk 45
To Michelle,
I am glad that I was able to aware you about a different aspect of birth. There were a number of topics we discussed as a class regarding birth, but there were a number we had left out as well. Oh, really? My mother also had a C-section when she had me, but thats all I know. I have no idea why or how because this isn't something I or my mother would feel comfortable discussing in an open matter. But compared to my other siblings she treats me the same way. Yes, well your mother made the best choice for herself and her child in this case you. I personally believe that this is what matters more and shows how much the mother cares and loves her child. It doesn't matter what type of birth the child has; he/she will make some type of love bond with his/her mother because after all their relationship is unbreakable. Yes I agree with you, I should have analayzed my quotes a bit more; I will take that into consideration for the next paper I write.
Amber M.
To Nabil
Thanks. That’s what my goal was, to teach those who don’t know much about this topic of birth. I guess it’s because we haven’t really discovered this world to the fullest yet, but I don’t think one can ever discover it to the fullest. There are just too many things out there to learn about, but this is a nice start. From a distance many things don’t seem to be so important, but by taking a few steps closer we seem to reveal a lot. In this case my paper was able to help you understand a common claim and what others have to say about it. Oh, that’s’ nice to know; I wanted my paper to touch base on a number of things and I made sure to include information on oxytocin and prolactin for a reason. Yeah you are right, why would women be offered 2 procedures when one was proven to be better than the other? Yes, I agree; all the decisions come down to the mother, no one else.
Amber M.
To Martyna,
I am glad that you got the main jist of my paper; your project also connected to what my paper was about. Yeah, well the idea just came to me then I started to do some research. After completing my research I was able to create an outline for my paper. While doing my research I didn’t really know what side I was going to prove right in my project, so I decided to stay neutral. Even though there has been some studies done which try to prove that a vaginal birth contributes to a better bonding between a mother and her child, I felt like this wasn’t the case from my own experience. I am glad that you also take interest in this aspect of birth. Yes I agree, all mothers recall the moment they gave birth to their children. It is a big moment in their life, but you can’t fully understand the concept until you have experienced it yourself. It’s nice to know that my project contributes into the fact that you are questioning yourself on different ideas which revolve around birth.
Amber M.
I am glad that I was able to aware you about a different aspect of birth. There were a number of topics we discussed as a class regarding birth, but there were a number we had left out as well. Oh, really? My mother also had a C-section when she had me, but thats all I know. I have no idea why or how because this isn't something I or my mother would feel comfortable discussing in an open matter. But compared to my other siblings she treats me the same way. Yes, well your mother made the best choice for herself and her child in this case you. I personally believe that this is what matters more and shows how much the mother cares and loves her child. It doesn't matter what type of birth the child has; he/she will make some type of love bond with his/her mother because after all their relationship is unbreakable. Yes I agree with you, I should have analayzed my quotes a bit more; I will take that into consideration for the next paper I write.
Amber M.
To Nabil
Thanks. That’s what my goal was, to teach those who don’t know much about this topic of birth. I guess it’s because we haven’t really discovered this world to the fullest yet, but I don’t think one can ever discover it to the fullest. There are just too many things out there to learn about, but this is a nice start. From a distance many things don’t seem to be so important, but by taking a few steps closer we seem to reveal a lot. In this case my paper was able to help you understand a common claim and what others have to say about it. Oh, that’s’ nice to know; I wanted my paper to touch base on a number of things and I made sure to include information on oxytocin and prolactin for a reason. Yeah you are right, why would women be offered 2 procedures when one was proven to be better than the other? Yes, I agree; all the decisions come down to the mother, no one else.
Amber M.
To Martyna,
I am glad that you got the main jist of my paper; your project also connected to what my paper was about. Yeah, well the idea just came to me then I started to do some research. After completing my research I was able to create an outline for my paper. While doing my research I didn’t really know what side I was going to prove right in my project, so I decided to stay neutral. Even though there has been some studies done which try to prove that a vaginal birth contributes to a better bonding between a mother and her child, I felt like this wasn’t the case from my own experience. I am glad that you also take interest in this aspect of birth. Yes I agree, all mothers recall the moment they gave birth to their children. It is a big moment in their life, but you can’t fully understand the concept until you have experienced it yourself. It’s nice to know that my project contributes into the fact that you are questioning yourself on different ideas which revolve around birth.
Amber M.
Hwk 44
Comments to Others:
To Michelle:
In India the male role throughout birth seems to be very distant from the mother because of the societal norms they have of Purdah. Pregnant females in India are more likely to refer to their mother, sister, or sister in law because they feel more comfortable discussing such a topic with them. Male doctors are not highly preferred because many women prefer to make more modest gestures.
I like the evidence you presented throughout your paper. The quotes you used really flowed into what you were trying to say. You looked at birth in India from a number of different angles; you didn’t base your whole paper on the male role during pregnancy in India but opened it up by applying the societal norms they have in such a case.
This project matters to me because I can connect to it in many ways. Being a Pakistani American I am forced to keep my religious and cultural values in mind while living in an environment which goes against them. Much of what you presented in your paper applies to many countries in the Middle East and Pakistan as well. This was a nice way for you to share how practices revolving around birth are not always the same as they are in the United States.
Your paper would have flowed even better if you had proof read it, but other than that good job!
Amber M.
To Larche:
Being unable to conceive causes the woman to feel as if she has no place in her society; she is constantly reminded of this by the disapproval of others. Even though this is a common case worldwide, much of the public doesn’t seem to approve the fact that it is not in the hands of the infertile woman for not having the ability to conceive.
Even though your project was short, it was really concise. You nailed down a number of interesting facts about our society today and how we behave in a negative manner towards others for no reason at all. The evidence you provided from different texts helped me realize that these are the bitter facts we need to face. It made me question what needs to be done in order to prevent this from spreading onto future generations.
Your project is important to me because is seems to prove that women need a slight imperfection in order to be referred to negatively. Why is this? I am sure that if a male had problems with impregnating a woman he wouldn’t be considered lacking much of anything. After reading through your project I was able to refer to a Pakistani drama I used to watch. In this drama a man married a woman, but failed to impregnate her. When his family noticed that his wife wasn’t becoming pregnant, they blamed it all on her for not being able to have a child. This was all done while they forced the man to marry another girl. I thought this connected to what you did your project on because women are always blamed for their slight imperfections, whereas men are always sugar coated to hide their imperfections.
I enjoyed reading your paper; I would have loved it if you added more to it. Nice work.
Amber M.
To Beatrice:
Planned Parenthood helps to serve many by offering services such as reproductive health, child and adult health services. Many are against this because they claim that their money is being used for abortions; what they don’t understand is that only five percent of the services provided deal with abortions.
I enjoyed reading about you taking a part of a rally which supported Planned Parenthood. You seemed to be really enthusiastic while supporting them. You provided rich evidence which helped me understand why this matters to you so much. I also liked the video which went along with your project; the slight imperfections in everyone’s role were able to add a nice touch.
Your project matters to many others and I because we are all human. We are prone to making mistakes; in return we need to have access to sanctuaries which will comfort us and help us in solving our problems. Planned Parenthood is a perfect example.
Amber M.
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Comments from Others :
From Shahana (Mentor):
Amber,
Nice job with this paper. You had told me a couple of times about the birth unit, finally I got the chance to see what you had been doing. I thought the topic you choose to write about is really interesting. I feel that the type of birth a mother has, has nothing to do with the type of love bond she has with her child. I felt like you did a good job of getting this point across in your conclusion. I liked the fact that you didn't seem to choose a side while writing this paper; you are right, there is no right answer. You used this as a chance to present a common argument which has no reason to be much of concern because it won't make much of a difference.
I would have liked it if you had done personal interviews with mothers who have had both experiences to use as part of your evidence. Otherwise your paper was focused on an interesting aspect of birth and pregnancy.
Mom
From Nabil (Protege):
Amber,
Your paper was really insightful. I haven't really studied anything about birth and pregnancy, but after reading this I was able to learn a lot; I wasn't well aware of the claim you based your paper on. I thought that a C-section and a vaginal birth were only different because of their procedures, but now I realized that it can help consider the type of bond a mother has with her baby.
I liked how you described the two hormones which are referred to throughout your paper. I was able to refer back to them many times. All of the quotes you used from others helped me consider their thoughts on this.
"Which type of birth promises the mother-to-be with an affectionate love bond between her and her child? As said before, there is no real answer to such a question. It all depends on the mother herself, and what she feels is right for her and her baby." I agree with you, if there was a right answer to this question only one procedure would be used for delivering a child. The mother is the only one in this situation who can layout her choices and choose what she thinks is best.
Nabil
From Martyna:
Amber! You researched and investigated how a type of birth affects the bonding of a mother and her baby and included a lot of interesting quotes from various sources.
I appreciate how much work you must have put into your project. You used a lot of very interesting information and interpreted it in a way which matches your subject. I like the fact that you had a clearly stated thesis and supported it very well throughout your writing.
Your project is important to me, because I am very interested in the different ways bonding can be affected. My mom always tells me that the most beautiful moments of her life were when she held me and my brother for the first time. Your project makes me wonder if my mom's experience would have been the same if she had a cesarean section.
Great work!
Martyna
From Michelle:
Amber,
The bond between mother and child some say differ whether have had a c-section or a vaginal birth but some say it is even before give birth that they feel this bond. So you decided investigate this topic more deeply. A topic I had never heard of before but that many can connect to because they have been the result of a pregnancy. It made me think of my own birth and wonder what this project mean to it because I was a C-section does that my mother doesn't same bond if I would have been born vaginally? But after reading your project and from the bond I have with my mother, it doesn't affect whether was born through a C-section, like the opinion some of the woman you found research on said. But then again if I had been born vaginally, I most likely would not be here today because my mom did not dilate enough and I had the umbilical cord around my head. Only thing you could have done to make post perfect is after quotes you used was to analyze them more to support what your main argument but nonetheless good job!
To Michelle:
In India the male role throughout birth seems to be very distant from the mother because of the societal norms they have of Purdah. Pregnant females in India are more likely to refer to their mother, sister, or sister in law because they feel more comfortable discussing such a topic with them. Male doctors are not highly preferred because many women prefer to make more modest gestures.
I like the evidence you presented throughout your paper. The quotes you used really flowed into what you were trying to say. You looked at birth in India from a number of different angles; you didn’t base your whole paper on the male role during pregnancy in India but opened it up by applying the societal norms they have in such a case.
This project matters to me because I can connect to it in many ways. Being a Pakistani American I am forced to keep my religious and cultural values in mind while living in an environment which goes against them. Much of what you presented in your paper applies to many countries in the Middle East and Pakistan as well. This was a nice way for you to share how practices revolving around birth are not always the same as they are in the United States.
Your paper would have flowed even better if you had proof read it, but other than that good job!
Amber M.
To Larche:
Being unable to conceive causes the woman to feel as if she has no place in her society; she is constantly reminded of this by the disapproval of others. Even though this is a common case worldwide, much of the public doesn’t seem to approve the fact that it is not in the hands of the infertile woman for not having the ability to conceive.
Even though your project was short, it was really concise. You nailed down a number of interesting facts about our society today and how we behave in a negative manner towards others for no reason at all. The evidence you provided from different texts helped me realize that these are the bitter facts we need to face. It made me question what needs to be done in order to prevent this from spreading onto future generations.
Your project is important to me because is seems to prove that women need a slight imperfection in order to be referred to negatively. Why is this? I am sure that if a male had problems with impregnating a woman he wouldn’t be considered lacking much of anything. After reading through your project I was able to refer to a Pakistani drama I used to watch. In this drama a man married a woman, but failed to impregnate her. When his family noticed that his wife wasn’t becoming pregnant, they blamed it all on her for not being able to have a child. This was all done while they forced the man to marry another girl. I thought this connected to what you did your project on because women are always blamed for their slight imperfections, whereas men are always sugar coated to hide their imperfections.
I enjoyed reading your paper; I would have loved it if you added more to it. Nice work.
Amber M.
To Beatrice:
Planned Parenthood helps to serve many by offering services such as reproductive health, child and adult health services. Many are against this because they claim that their money is being used for abortions; what they don’t understand is that only five percent of the services provided deal with abortions.
I enjoyed reading about you taking a part of a rally which supported Planned Parenthood. You seemed to be really enthusiastic while supporting them. You provided rich evidence which helped me understand why this matters to you so much. I also liked the video which went along with your project; the slight imperfections in everyone’s role were able to add a nice touch.
Your project matters to many others and I because we are all human. We are prone to making mistakes; in return we need to have access to sanctuaries which will comfort us and help us in solving our problems. Planned Parenthood is a perfect example.
Amber M.
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Comments from Others :
From Shahana (Mentor):
Amber,
Nice job with this paper. You had told me a couple of times about the birth unit, finally I got the chance to see what you had been doing. I thought the topic you choose to write about is really interesting. I feel that the type of birth a mother has, has nothing to do with the type of love bond she has with her child. I felt like you did a good job of getting this point across in your conclusion. I liked the fact that you didn't seem to choose a side while writing this paper; you are right, there is no right answer. You used this as a chance to present a common argument which has no reason to be much of concern because it won't make much of a difference.
I would have liked it if you had done personal interviews with mothers who have had both experiences to use as part of your evidence. Otherwise your paper was focused on an interesting aspect of birth and pregnancy.
Mom
From Nabil (Protege):
Amber,
Your paper was really insightful. I haven't really studied anything about birth and pregnancy, but after reading this I was able to learn a lot; I wasn't well aware of the claim you based your paper on. I thought that a C-section and a vaginal birth were only different because of their procedures, but now I realized that it can help consider the type of bond a mother has with her baby.
I liked how you described the two hormones which are referred to throughout your paper. I was able to refer back to them many times. All of the quotes you used from others helped me consider their thoughts on this.
"Which type of birth promises the mother-to-be with an affectionate love bond between her and her child? As said before, there is no real answer to such a question. It all depends on the mother herself, and what she feels is right for her and her baby." I agree with you, if there was a right answer to this question only one procedure would be used for delivering a child. The mother is the only one in this situation who can layout her choices and choose what she thinks is best.
Nabil
From Martyna:
Amber! You researched and investigated how a type of birth affects the bonding of a mother and her baby and included a lot of interesting quotes from various sources.
I appreciate how much work you must have put into your project. You used a lot of very interesting information and interpreted it in a way which matches your subject. I like the fact that you had a clearly stated thesis and supported it very well throughout your writing.
Your project is important to me, because I am very interested in the different ways bonding can be affected. My mom always tells me that the most beautiful moments of her life were when she held me and my brother for the first time. Your project makes me wonder if my mom's experience would have been the same if she had a cesarean section.
Great work!
Martyna
From Michelle:
Amber,
The bond between mother and child some say differ whether have had a c-section or a vaginal birth but some say it is even before give birth that they feel this bond. So you decided investigate this topic more deeply. A topic I had never heard of before but that many can connect to because they have been the result of a pregnancy. It made me think of my own birth and wonder what this project mean to it because I was a C-section does that my mother doesn't same bond if I would have been born vaginally? But after reading your project and from the bond I have with my mother, it doesn't affect whether was born through a C-section, like the opinion some of the woman you found research on said. But then again if I had been born vaginally, I most likely would not be here today because my mom did not dilate enough and I had the umbilical cord around my head. Only thing you could have done to make post perfect is after quotes you used was to analyze them more to support what your main argument but nonetheless good job!
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Hwk 42
The bond between a mother and her baby is a bond like no other; but many argue that this bond is not as strong for a mother who had a cesarean section instead of a vaginal birth. Some mothers claim that they can feel a bond with their child before they are considered as expecting. “The bond between a mother and her child begins long before birth. Many women tell how they feel babies even before conception as if some Being, in the latent state of life, were waiting for an opportunity to sprout in a “fertile ground” (Calvette). After the mother conceives, with each passing month the link between the mother to be and her baby becomes stronger; then at last the final event occurs: birth! This is the most vital time for a mother and her baby to bond as stated by many. Many individuals claim that mothers who had their babies with the help of a cesarean section are less likely to have a close bond to their child when compared to mothers who had given vaginal birth. Studies have shown to make this claim true, but mothers who have had a cesarean section say that they love all their children equally. So, which type of birth promises the mother-to-be with an affectionate love bond between her and her child? Though there might not be one answer to such a question, one can try to view several viewpoints on the topic to help them consider an answer for themselves.
Before looking at all the studies and claims that tend to prove that a mother who has a vaginal birth is more likely to have a stronger bond with her child, the science which occurs during and after birth needs to be considered. Where does the bonding between a mother and her baby begin? Well, there are several different answers to this question; some say it starts before conception, others say it starts after conception while growing throughout the nine months of pregnancy, the rest claim that it occurs the instant the mother gives birth to her infant. During labor the mother to be has oxytocin being released within her body; this is what causes her to experience the love she has for her baby right after he/she born. Oxytocin or the “love hormone” as called by many, tends to put the mother in “lala land” for the first ten minutes after giving birth (Moritz). Oxytocin plays a big role in female reproduction; it is released in large amounts after distension of the cervix and uterus during labor. This means that mothers who give birth vaginally will have a high amount of oxytocin within their bodies since their cervix and uterus will experience distension to its fullest. While having a cesarean section, this may not be applicable, since not much tension will be put towards the cervix and uterus. Prolactin is another hormone which is vital for the baby after the mother has given birth. Prolactin has many effects such as regulating lactation. It basically stimulates the mammary glands for the mother to produce milk in order to feed her infant. Breastfeeding is considered a great time for the mother and baby to bond. “Breastfeeding is an important part in establishing the bond between the mother and her baby. It only makes that bond grow every day, nourishing the baby in every possible manner as it is the perfect food. It is a time of love and connection..It is a moment to exchange glances, love, and affection, to see the baby and let love flow (Calvette).”
The bonding process between a mother and her baby can occur without any real realization; it can occurr one way or another depending on how one perceives it. Even though it is said that this attachment starts right after the mother has given birth, many claim that throughout the nine months of pregnancy the mother is able to create a strong bond with her preborn baby. Research has shown that the attachment between the two can vary depending on how the mother chooses to care for her preborn baby. All bonds between mother and baby vary; for example, mothers who enjoy concerts claim that their preborn babies “jump at the sound of drums.” Some studies have proved that a six month old fetus can move to the rhythm of its mother talking. Prenatal researchers claim that there is a connection between the mothers’ thoughts and how her preborn baby feels. When the fetus is six months old, it can share its mothers’ emotions with the help of the hormones associated with them. “Studies relating maternal attitudes to the emotional development of the offspring do indeed reveal a tendency for anxious mothers to produce anxious babies…Researchers believe that a stressed mother produces an abundance of stress hormones called catecholamines, which have been shown to, in turn, affect emotions” (AskDrSears).
When a mother has a cesarean section it is very likely that she is giving birth in a hospital, meaning that her baby will be take away from her to be weighed and cleaned up. This is what many individuals seem to be against because this is a moment considered very important for both the mother and her baby. This is what the mother has been waiting for all along; this is when physical contact is possible. “These first moments are crucial to developing the bond between the mother and the newborn and there must be as little interference as possible. The child should remain in contact with its mother’s skin since the moment it is born and never been taken away from her until it is fed, at least for the first time. This is a moment of meeting each other when they exchange affection and smells and look into each other’s eyes for the first time and that’s when this bond is established” (Calvette) When the mother gives birth vaginally, she is more likely to see her baby when it is born and make eye contact with him/her; whereas when a woman has a cesarean section, a curtain is drawn between her and her baby.
While watching the film documentary titled The Business of Being Born, mothers who gave birth naturally with the support of a midwife were the first ones to come in contact with their babies. They were able to experience birth to its fullest; by being the “doctor” of their own babies. This helped them create the bond that they were willing to create with their infant all along. “In a normal birth, the baby is still physically connected to its mother by the umbilical cord which is still attached to the placenta and the womb. As the nature is perfect, the cord is the right size for the newborn to get to its mother’s breasts and does not need to be cut immediately” (Calvette). This is exactly what was shown in The Business of Being Born; mothers who gave birth vaginally were able to come in contact with their babies the second they were born. They took full advantage of the oxytocin rush they were receiving at the time. After some time had passed, they would be seen breastfeeding their infant, with the help of prolactin. By taking advantage of both of these hormones, it was clearly seen that the mother was easily able to start a strong bond with her child from the beginning.
Studies have been done trying to prove that women who have a vaginal birth are more likely to have a better response to their babies. A few years ago, American and British scientists decided to do an experiment which provided evidence to support the claim which says women that have a vaginal birth are more likely to have a stronger bond with their child. This study was lead by Dr. James Swain, from the Child Study Center at Yale University. Within this study there were twelve women involved; six of whom who gave a vaginal birth while the other six had a cesarean section. Two to four weeks after giving birth, all twelve of these women underwent an FMRI scan of their brains while hearing the cries of their baby. The FMRI scans revealed that the mothers who had a vaginal birth had regions within their brains which were highly activated while hearing the cries of their infant. The regions within the brain which were activated were the ones that dealt with motivation, empathy, habit, emotions and reward seeking. “I suspect that the parental brain is primed by vaginal delivery and affected by neurohormonal factors such as oxytocin, a hormonelinked to emotional connections and feelings of love. C-sections may alter these neurohormonal factors and increase the risk of problematic bonding and postpartumdepression.” (Professor James Swain, M.D) Because the large amounts of oxytocin are highly present in a vaginal delivery, it tends to play a big role in the results these scientists gathered. Without oxytocin being present, such results wouldn’t have been possible.
Although there have been many studies done in the past that try to prove that a vaginal delivery tends to create a stronger bond between a mother and her baby, mothers who have had experience with both a vaginal birth and cesarean section claim no difference. Many expecting women feel that they need to research this topic in order to make the right birth plan for themselves and their baby. Some expecting mothers decide to get the advice they are in search of by directing their questions to the public. One woman posted this question on a forum online: “Do C-sections effect the bond between mother and child?” There were a number of responses received from mothers who have had experienced both type of births. Most of these responses had no complaints about the bonding experience they had with their infant. “I had a C-section with my 1st and had no probs with bonding.”…“I have had one of each birth and my answer would be NO. I love both my children and I'm very close to each of them. I bonded strongly during pregnancy with both - talking to them, singing, touching”…“Definately not...I needed to have a C-Section with my daughter for medical reasons, we bonded straight away and to this day have a wonderful relationship.”…“I've had both. My daughter vaginally and my son C-section. My son is by far the more loving and affectionate of the two” (Minti). All these women answered this question long after with their experiences with birth. Within this time they were able to create a stronger bond with their child.
Some women in the other hand complained that having a C-section delayed their bonding process. “The bonding is much harder work after a Cesarean section. I had issues with bonding - it was not automatic but it happened.”…“I had to have an emergency C-section because my son was breech and rather large (10lbs 4.5oz!) - And though it was the last thing I wanted, and I felt really detached at the time through the whole process”…“I had one vaginal birth and one C-section. I was very disappointed in the C-section I had. I think that it delays the bonding process. I had to wait a couple of hours to hold my twin boys until i was transferred to my room. Once I held them, I was able to bond with them. It was just a longer time until i was able to.” It seems that it is not the bonding itself which is affected by the type of birth the mother has; it is the actual time in which the mother and baby which are able to bond which alters. The only difference between the bonding processes of these two births is that with a vaginal birth the bonding begins right away, whereas a C-section tends to delay the attachment. In a vaginal delivery, the baby is handed over to his her mother in less time when compared to a cesarean section. Regardless, it does not seem to affect how strong the bond is in the coming years. “Just because you may only get a brief moment, if even that, with your baby, it in no way hinders the bonding process. From the moment the child is conceived, an unbreakable bond has already been forged. This bond is only strengthened every day you carry your child in the womb and every day after the baby is born…Babies do not soon forget the sounds and feelings of their mother, and they even have the smell ingrained in their memory. They could pick their mother, using smell, out of a crowd of one hundred people without even opening their eyes. They know you and you know them. No amount of time, whether immediate or later on, will ever erase these instincts” (Rumler).
Which type of birth promises the mother-to-be with an affectionate love bond between her and her child? As said before, there is no real answer to such a question. It all depends on the mother herself, and what she feels is right for her and her baby. Usually mothers want to have a vaginal birth, but at times it is not in their hands. Complications can arise without warning and the mother has to give up all her wants for the safety of her child. “The truth is you do what is safest for the baby and regardless of which way they come into the world you bond, love and nurture your little treasures” (Minti). Although vaginal births tends to create the bond between the mother and her baby much earlier compared to a birth with the assistance of a cesarean section, mothers do not complain about the bond they have with their child years after. No matter what type of a birth the mother has, she will create a loving bond with her child. She will do what is best for her child. So it is not the bond that will be affected by the type of birth a mother has; it is only the time when the mother gets to bond with her baby that is affected.
MLA Citations:
Calvette, Mayra. "The bond between mother and baby." Gisele's Blog. 06/may/2010. Web. 30 Mar 2011.
Radowitz, John. "C-section 'weakens mother's bond with her child' ." (2008): n. pag. Web. 30 Mar 2011..
"7 WAYS TO BOND WITH YOUR PREBORN BABY ." n. pag. Web. 30 Mar 2011..
Rumler, Tawny. " Cesarean Section: You CAN Bond with Your Baby." Web. 30 Mar 2011.
Tink1976, . "Do c-sections effect the bond between mother and child?." 29 Sep 2006. Online Posting tominti. Web. 6 Apr 2011.
"Natural birth leads to stronger bonding between mother and baby." www.healthjockey.com. N.p., 20 Sep 2008. Web. 6 Apr 2011.
"Oxytocin." Web..
"Prolactin." Web..
Moritz, Jacques. School of the Future, New York City. 01 Apr 2011. Speech.
Abby , Epstein, Dir. The Business of Being Born. Dir. Abby Epstein." 2008, Film.
Before looking at all the studies and claims that tend to prove that a mother who has a vaginal birth is more likely to have a stronger bond with her child, the science which occurs during and after birth needs to be considered. Where does the bonding between a mother and her baby begin? Well, there are several different answers to this question; some say it starts before conception, others say it starts after conception while growing throughout the nine months of pregnancy, the rest claim that it occurs the instant the mother gives birth to her infant. During labor the mother to be has oxytocin being released within her body; this is what causes her to experience the love she has for her baby right after he/she born. Oxytocin or the “love hormone” as called by many, tends to put the mother in “lala land” for the first ten minutes after giving birth (Moritz). Oxytocin plays a big role in female reproduction; it is released in large amounts after distension of the cervix and uterus during labor. This means that mothers who give birth vaginally will have a high amount of oxytocin within their bodies since their cervix and uterus will experience distension to its fullest. While having a cesarean section, this may not be applicable, since not much tension will be put towards the cervix and uterus. Prolactin is another hormone which is vital for the baby after the mother has given birth. Prolactin has many effects such as regulating lactation. It basically stimulates the mammary glands for the mother to produce milk in order to feed her infant. Breastfeeding is considered a great time for the mother and baby to bond. “Breastfeeding is an important part in establishing the bond between the mother and her baby. It only makes that bond grow every day, nourishing the baby in every possible manner as it is the perfect food. It is a time of love and connection..It is a moment to exchange glances, love, and affection, to see the baby and let love flow (Calvette).”
The bonding process between a mother and her baby can occur without any real realization; it can occurr one way or another depending on how one perceives it. Even though it is said that this attachment starts right after the mother has given birth, many claim that throughout the nine months of pregnancy the mother is able to create a strong bond with her preborn baby. Research has shown that the attachment between the two can vary depending on how the mother chooses to care for her preborn baby. All bonds between mother and baby vary; for example, mothers who enjoy concerts claim that their preborn babies “jump at the sound of drums.” Some studies have proved that a six month old fetus can move to the rhythm of its mother talking. Prenatal researchers claim that there is a connection between the mothers’ thoughts and how her preborn baby feels. When the fetus is six months old, it can share its mothers’ emotions with the help of the hormones associated with them. “Studies relating maternal attitudes to the emotional development of the offspring do indeed reveal a tendency for anxious mothers to produce anxious babies…Researchers believe that a stressed mother produces an abundance of stress hormones called catecholamines, which have been shown to, in turn, affect emotions” (AskDrSears).
When a mother has a cesarean section it is very likely that she is giving birth in a hospital, meaning that her baby will be take away from her to be weighed and cleaned up. This is what many individuals seem to be against because this is a moment considered very important for both the mother and her baby. This is what the mother has been waiting for all along; this is when physical contact is possible. “These first moments are crucial to developing the bond between the mother and the newborn and there must be as little interference as possible. The child should remain in contact with its mother’s skin since the moment it is born and never been taken away from her until it is fed, at least for the first time. This is a moment of meeting each other when they exchange affection and smells and look into each other’s eyes for the first time and that’s when this bond is established” (Calvette) When the mother gives birth vaginally, she is more likely to see her baby when it is born and make eye contact with him/her; whereas when a woman has a cesarean section, a curtain is drawn between her and her baby.
While watching the film documentary titled The Business of Being Born, mothers who gave birth naturally with the support of a midwife were the first ones to come in contact with their babies. They were able to experience birth to its fullest; by being the “doctor” of their own babies. This helped them create the bond that they were willing to create with their infant all along. “In a normal birth, the baby is still physically connected to its mother by the umbilical cord which is still attached to the placenta and the womb. As the nature is perfect, the cord is the right size for the newborn to get to its mother’s breasts and does not need to be cut immediately” (Calvette). This is exactly what was shown in The Business of Being Born; mothers who gave birth vaginally were able to come in contact with their babies the second they were born. They took full advantage of the oxytocin rush they were receiving at the time. After some time had passed, they would be seen breastfeeding their infant, with the help of prolactin. By taking advantage of both of these hormones, it was clearly seen that the mother was easily able to start a strong bond with her child from the beginning.
Studies have been done trying to prove that women who have a vaginal birth are more likely to have a better response to their babies. A few years ago, American and British scientists decided to do an experiment which provided evidence to support the claim which says women that have a vaginal birth are more likely to have a stronger bond with their child. This study was lead by Dr. James Swain, from the Child Study Center at Yale University. Within this study there were twelve women involved; six of whom who gave a vaginal birth while the other six had a cesarean section. Two to four weeks after giving birth, all twelve of these women underwent an FMRI scan of their brains while hearing the cries of their baby. The FMRI scans revealed that the mothers who had a vaginal birth had regions within their brains which were highly activated while hearing the cries of their infant. The regions within the brain which were activated were the ones that dealt with motivation, empathy, habit, emotions and reward seeking. “I suspect that the parental brain is primed by vaginal delivery and affected by neurohormonal factors such as oxytocin, a hormonelinked to emotional connections and feelings of love. C-sections may alter these neurohormonal factors and increase the risk of problematic bonding and postpartumdepression.” (Professor James Swain, M.D) Because the large amounts of oxytocin are highly present in a vaginal delivery, it tends to play a big role in the results these scientists gathered. Without oxytocin being present, such results wouldn’t have been possible.
Although there have been many studies done in the past that try to prove that a vaginal delivery tends to create a stronger bond between a mother and her baby, mothers who have had experience with both a vaginal birth and cesarean section claim no difference. Many expecting women feel that they need to research this topic in order to make the right birth plan for themselves and their baby. Some expecting mothers decide to get the advice they are in search of by directing their questions to the public. One woman posted this question on a forum online: “Do C-sections effect the bond between mother and child?” There were a number of responses received from mothers who have had experienced both type of births. Most of these responses had no complaints about the bonding experience they had with their infant. “I had a C-section with my 1st and had no probs with bonding.”…“I have had one of each birth and my answer would be NO. I love both my children and I'm very close to each of them. I bonded strongly during pregnancy with both - talking to them, singing, touching”…“Definately not...I needed to have a C-Section with my daughter for medical reasons, we bonded straight away and to this day have a wonderful relationship.”…“I've had both. My daughter vaginally and my son C-section. My son is by far the more loving and affectionate of the two” (Minti). All these women answered this question long after with their experiences with birth. Within this time they were able to create a stronger bond with their child.
Some women in the other hand complained that having a C-section delayed their bonding process. “The bonding is much harder work after a Cesarean section. I had issues with bonding - it was not automatic but it happened.”…“I had to have an emergency C-section because my son was breech and rather large (10lbs 4.5oz!) - And though it was the last thing I wanted, and I felt really detached at the time through the whole process”…“I had one vaginal birth and one C-section. I was very disappointed in the C-section I had. I think that it delays the bonding process. I had to wait a couple of hours to hold my twin boys until i was transferred to my room. Once I held them, I was able to bond with them. It was just a longer time until i was able to.” It seems that it is not the bonding itself which is affected by the type of birth the mother has; it is the actual time in which the mother and baby which are able to bond which alters. The only difference between the bonding processes of these two births is that with a vaginal birth the bonding begins right away, whereas a C-section tends to delay the attachment. In a vaginal delivery, the baby is handed over to his her mother in less time when compared to a cesarean section. Regardless, it does not seem to affect how strong the bond is in the coming years. “Just because you may only get a brief moment, if even that, with your baby, it in no way hinders the bonding process. From the moment the child is conceived, an unbreakable bond has already been forged. This bond is only strengthened every day you carry your child in the womb and every day after the baby is born…Babies do not soon forget the sounds and feelings of their mother, and they even have the smell ingrained in their memory. They could pick their mother, using smell, out of a crowd of one hundred people without even opening their eyes. They know you and you know them. No amount of time, whether immediate or later on, will ever erase these instincts” (Rumler).
Which type of birth promises the mother-to-be with an affectionate love bond between her and her child? As said before, there is no real answer to such a question. It all depends on the mother herself, and what she feels is right for her and her baby. Usually mothers want to have a vaginal birth, but at times it is not in their hands. Complications can arise without warning and the mother has to give up all her wants for the safety of her child. “The truth is you do what is safest for the baby and regardless of which way they come into the world you bond, love and nurture your little treasures” (Minti). Although vaginal births tends to create the bond between the mother and her baby much earlier compared to a birth with the assistance of a cesarean section, mothers do not complain about the bond they have with their child years after. No matter what type of a birth the mother has, she will create a loving bond with her child. She will do what is best for her child. So it is not the bond that will be affected by the type of birth a mother has; it is only the time when the mother gets to bond with her baby that is affected.
MLA Citations:
Calvette, Mayra. "The bond between mother and baby." Gisele's Blog. 06/may/2010. Web. 30 Mar 2011.
Radowitz, John. "C-section 'weakens mother's bond with her child' ." (2008): n. pag. Web. 30 Mar 2011.
"7 WAYS TO BOND WITH YOUR PREBORN BABY ." n. pag. Web. 30 Mar 2011.
Rumler, Tawny. " Cesarean Section: You CAN Bond with Your Baby." Web. 30 Mar 2011.
Tink1976, . "Do c-sections effect the bond between mother and child?." 29 Sep 2006. Online Posting tominti. Web. 6 Apr 2011.
"Natural birth leads to stronger bonding between mother and baby." www.healthjockey.com. N.p., 20 Sep 2008. Web. 6 Apr 2011.
"Oxytocin." Web.
"Prolactin." Web.
Moritz, Jacques. School of the Future, New York City. 01 Apr 2011. Speech.
Abby , Epstein, Dir. The Business of Being Born. Dir. Abby Epstein." 2008, Film.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Hwk 41
A.
Calvette, Mayra. "The bond between mother and baby." Gisele's Blog. 06/may/2010. Web. 30 Mar 2011. http://www.blog.giselebundchen.com.br/en/sentido/a-ligacao-entre-mae-e-bebe/.
The author of this blog post, Mayra Calvette talks to her readers about the attachment a mother has with her baby. Some women say that they feel another being within them before they have conceived. And this attachment tends to grow more and more during pregnancy and after the birth of the baby. She recommends that babies stay with their mothers after the mother has given birth. This is the best time out of all for the mother to gain love from the baby and give it love as well. This is all likely to happen in a “normal birth” since the baby is still attached to its mother (via umbilical cord).
Hagensen, Jody. "Reasons Mothers Love Their Children." ehow. N.p., 25/Feb/2011. Web. 30 Mar 2011. http://www.ehow.com/info_7982086_reasons-mothers-love-children.html.
This article discusses the different aspects of why a mother loves her child(ren). The best way for a mother to love her child is to start off with a loving relationship with the father of the child. By building this strong relationship with the father, both the mother and father are able to nurture and care for the baby properly. Breastfeeding is a chance for the mother and baby to build a strong bond. During this time the mothers’ body is releasing oxytocin and prolactin. Skin to skin contact is another way for the mother and baby to gain a stronger attachment.
Radowitz, John. "C-section 'weakens mother's bond with her child' ." (2008): n. pag. Web. 30 Mar 2011. http://www.independent.ie/health/latest-news/csection-weakens-mothers-bond-with-her-child-1468945.html.
In this article, the author discusses a study done with twelve American women who are expecting for the first time. Six of these women gave a vaginal birth while the other six had a C-section. A couple of weeks after the delivery, these 12 women underwent FMRI scans when listening to the recorded sounds of their crying babies. The scans revealed that the women who gave birth naturally had regions within their brain that were highly activated when hearing the sounds of their baby. This tends to prove some mothers that women who give birth naturally are prone to having a stronger attachment with their baby.
"7 WAYS TO BOND WITH YOUR PREBORN BABY ." n. pag. Web. 30 Mar 2011. http://www.askdrsears.com/html/1/T010608.asp.
This page provides the mother to be with seven ways to bond with her preborn baby. While listing the seven precautions, it explains how each precaution may take effect with the mother and her baby. The mother to be is in charge of what her preborn baby hears, senses, thinks, etc…Depending on how she uses these precautions, the mother to be can almost alter her bond with her preborn baby, which will definitely make an impact on how she bonds with her baby after she has given birth.
Rumler, Tawny. " Cesarean Section: You CAN Bond with Your Baby." Web. 30 Mar 2011. http://hubpages.com/hub/Cesarean-Section-You-CAN-Bond-with-Your-Baby.
The author of this article claims that it doesn’t matter whether a mother gives birth naturally or has a C-section; the bond between her and her baby will not change at all. She goes through different reasons to try to prove such a claim true. For example, the baby stays within its mother’s womb for a total of nine months. Within these nine months, the baby will get used to the sounds of its mother, which will help it grow accustomed to its mother and her behavior. The author claims that only the mother can affect the bond between her and her baby; the way the baby is delivered plays no factor in how a mother bonds with her baby.
B.
After gathering most of my research, I am sure I will be writing an academic paper on the topic I chose. My goal while writing my paper is to answer a variety of questions instead of one question in specific. At first I will present my reader with the scientific information needed to be understood in order to fully grasp what will be discussed further along in my paper. Then I will present my reader with the evidence I have just found, which will support my thesis. I will also bring in evidence from the book I have read, the documentary we viewed in class, and the interviews I took a part of. Later on I will include a counterargument which I will prove against using more evidence. Lastly, I will conclude by summarizing to the reader why my thesis is proven to be correct.
Calvette, Mayra. "The bond between mother and baby." Gisele's Blog. 06/may/2010. Web. 30 Mar 2011. http://www.blog.giselebundchen.com.br/en/sentido/a-ligacao-entre-mae-e-bebe/.
The author of this blog post, Mayra Calvette talks to her readers about the attachment a mother has with her baby. Some women say that they feel another being within them before they have conceived. And this attachment tends to grow more and more during pregnancy and after the birth of the baby. She recommends that babies stay with their mothers after the mother has given birth. This is the best time out of all for the mother to gain love from the baby and give it love as well. This is all likely to happen in a “normal birth” since the baby is still attached to its mother (via umbilical cord).
Hagensen, Jody. "Reasons Mothers Love Their Children." ehow. N.p., 25/Feb/2011. Web. 30 Mar 2011. http://www.ehow.com/info_7982086_reasons-mothers-love-children.html.
This article discusses the different aspects of why a mother loves her child(ren). The best way for a mother to love her child is to start off with a loving relationship with the father of the child. By building this strong relationship with the father, both the mother and father are able to nurture and care for the baby properly. Breastfeeding is a chance for the mother and baby to build a strong bond. During this time the mothers’ body is releasing oxytocin and prolactin. Skin to skin contact is another way for the mother and baby to gain a stronger attachment.
Radowitz, John. "C-section 'weakens mother's bond with her child' ." (2008): n. pag. Web. 30 Mar 2011. http://www.independent.ie/health/latest-news/csection-weakens-mothers-bond-with-her-child-1468945.html.
In this article, the author discusses a study done with twelve American women who are expecting for the first time. Six of these women gave a vaginal birth while the other six had a C-section. A couple of weeks after the delivery, these 12 women underwent FMRI scans when listening to the recorded sounds of their crying babies. The scans revealed that the women who gave birth naturally had regions within their brain that were highly activated when hearing the sounds of their baby. This tends to prove some mothers that women who give birth naturally are prone to having a stronger attachment with their baby.
"7 WAYS TO BOND WITH YOUR PREBORN BABY ." n. pag. Web. 30 Mar 2011. http://www.askdrsears.com/html/1/T010608.asp.
This page provides the mother to be with seven ways to bond with her preborn baby. While listing the seven precautions, it explains how each precaution may take effect with the mother and her baby. The mother to be is in charge of what her preborn baby hears, senses, thinks, etc…Depending on how she uses these precautions, the mother to be can almost alter her bond with her preborn baby, which will definitely make an impact on how she bonds with her baby after she has given birth.
Rumler, Tawny. " Cesarean Section: You CAN Bond with Your Baby." Web. 30 Mar 2011. http://hubpages.com/hub/Cesarean-Section-You-CAN-Bond-with-Your-Baby.
The author of this article claims that it doesn’t matter whether a mother gives birth naturally or has a C-section; the bond between her and her baby will not change at all. She goes through different reasons to try to prove such a claim true. For example, the baby stays within its mother’s womb for a total of nine months. Within these nine months, the baby will get used to the sounds of its mother, which will help it grow accustomed to its mother and her behavior. The author claims that only the mother can affect the bond between her and her baby; the way the baby is delivered plays no factor in how a mother bonds with her baby.
B.
After gathering most of my research, I am sure I will be writing an academic paper on the topic I chose. My goal while writing my paper is to answer a variety of questions instead of one question in specific. At first I will present my reader with the scientific information needed to be understood in order to fully grasp what will be discussed further along in my paper. Then I will present my reader with the evidence I have just found, which will support my thesis. I will also bring in evidence from the book I have read, the documentary we viewed in class, and the interviews I took a part of. Later on I will include a counterargument which I will prove against using more evidence. Lastly, I will conclude by summarizing to the reader why my thesis is proven to be correct.
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