***Hwk 47***

I decided to interview three different people; a 16 year old male, a 17 year old female and an 18 year old male. I got mixed responses from my interviewees. By the time I had completed my interviewing I saw some patterns in my results. When it comes to how someone feels while caring for the dead the responses were similar; but when asked about how one should be buried there different responses. Overall I was able to learn a lot while educating each individual about a different aspect of how the dead are cared for. At the same time I was able to deepen my thoughts on the topic as well.

When I interviewed the 16 year old male he didn’t seem to have much experience with caring for the dead. He said that he has attended one funeral when he was 15, but it wasn’t for anyone too close to him. He remembers everyone crying and the environment being really loud; everyone was in black attire. This funeral had the body put in a coffin and taken away to a gravesite. I questioned him about how he was feeling at the time, he answered: “The days after the death are sad because it’s a done deal, there is no turning back, the only option you have is to move on.” I then asked him what he or his family had done differently as a result of the death. He said he remembers his family making dinner for the family of the person that had recently passed away for some nights. I then asked him about why this was done by his family, he said it was a form of pity on them. I started to question him about how a body is disposed and what it says about the spirit that once lived within it. He said that he wasn’t sure, but he would prefer a body getting buried over a body getting cremated. When I asked him why, he said that he didn’t know how to explain it, but he just couldn’t have a body cremated, or see a body being cremated. “The thought of burning a body is just not right in my opinion.” When I asked him about our society and how it deals with caring for the dead he said he didn’t have much to say about that because he hasn’t had anyone close enough to him die. This is why he hasn’t paid much attention to the topic, but when someone close to him passes away he will have a different approach on the topic.

My 18 year old male cousin decided to connect much of what he had to say back to Islam. He said he had attended two funerals in the past. I asked him what type of clothing everyone wore; he responded with telling me that it was only men at the funeral and they wore Kameez Shalwar in different colors. Everyone seemed to be depressed; “death is a very emotional and sensitive topic, it doesn’t matter who dies, even if they are your enemy you are supposed to feel a certain way”. I asked him about what else went on within the funeral; he started talking about how a special order of food was made and eaten by everyone who had attended the funeral. Before having it served, part of the food was put aside to be given out to the poor and needy. Later on we moved on to the topic of the body and how it should be disposed. I asked him about having a burial vs. having a body cremated; he said that in Islam cremation is not allowed, only burial is supposed to occur after ones death. I told him about some countries which cremate their bodies and he said that it was all wrong in his opinion. I asked him why he thought that cremation was wrong; he said that without having a body you cannot pray to it, or give it blessings or read the Quran for it. “When cremated there is nothing left to give prayers to, or read the Quran to. When a body is buried you can do such things and more to give it a blessing for wherever the spirit may be.” By having the body cremated one cannot go to a certain site to send the body and its spirit prayers; in Islam one only goes to heaven with the support of prayers, this is why cremation is not allowed. Having a body cremated also creates a foul smell which isn’t considered a good thing. He then told me about a proper burial, consisting of giving the body a holy bath then covering the nostrils and ears with cotton. Right after, a white cloth is placed over the body and taken away to the grave site by a group of close family members.

When interviewing the a 17 year old female I asked her about her experiences with funerals and the environment at the time. She had attended a funeral, but she couldn’t remember too much about it; it was like a “foggy haze”. She was young at the time and didn’t really grasp what was going on around her; she felt like she was watching everything as if she was an outsider in the scene; like she wasn’t supposed to be there. She felt upset because she couldn’t fully comprehend the situation; yet, she wasn’t really emotional. The casket was open at the funeral she had attended making her feel surreal, “death is surreal in a way, it didn’t really sink in.” She personally doesn’t like funerals because they deal with emotions and she doesn’t like the idea of that; I am sure not many do. When asked about different ways of disposing a body and what it says about the life of the body she answered that the dead should be treated with respect. “It is a personal choice between family and close ones to decide which way the body should be disposed. The way a body is disposed doesn’t really affect the meaning to the life of the body which once lived. There isn’t much of a connection between the two.” I decided to investigate this further by asking her about her thoughts on cremation. “There are a number of reasons for why someone may choose for the body to be cremated, this may be because of financial reasons, etc…” She said this based off of what other people have experienced. She wasn’t really sure how to answer this question since she didn’t have much personal experience on the topic. At the end she said it all depends on ones beliefs and personal choices. For her own case, she stated that in Christianity cremation is not seen as anything disrespectful; she tends to feel the same way. I then asked her about how she would want her body to be handled after death. She said that she wasn’t sure even though she has discussed the topic with her family. She concluded with having a burial and a small funeral service with close ones present, but it all depends on how she had died “If I was in a horrible accident which messed up my face, I would rather be cremated.” I asked her about how she felt about having the body handled by strangers instead of close ones. She said she prefers having close ones handle the dead body because having strangers handle it makes it seem uneasy for others. It is almost a duty for the close ones to handle the body, if strangers were to come in between it would “ruin” the grieving and burial process in her opinion. “I would want to take part of every step leading up to having my loved one go.”

Discussing a topic such as the care of the dead is not a topic commonly discussed amongst many of us. This was a chance for some people including myself to actually pause and think about a topic which is a part of our lives, but doesn’t really get much attention paid to. I got a lot of interesting feedback from each individual I decided to interview. Reading through the interviews I realized that the beliefs one has, affects what they think about caring for the dead. Two of the three interviewees are Christian while one is Muslim. The ones who follow the Christian faith didn’t know what they wanted or what they thought was right; even if they did, they didn’t have much proof to back it up. This applies to the questions which compared burial to cremation.

I personally connected more to my cousin and what he had to say on the topic. I would have answered these questions the same way as he did if someone were to ask me. Society, culture and religion play a big role in what people have to say about topics such as caring for the dead. While I was interviewing a few of these people it was totally random, and I remeber feeling awkward and in the middle of a interview or two taking a minute to ask the interviewee if they felt comfortable answering such questions. I don't really know why I did that, but it was just a natural tendency to do so. I think it's because caring for the dead is not something the we choose to discuss during a normal conversation; we usually tend to go for topics that won't matter much later on.