Hwk 48

I decided to talk to my mom and my dad about the care of the dead. Their beliefs were similar to mine and most of what they had to say on this topic was expected (in my mind). I was glad to choose my mom and dad for this interview since they both have the same beliefs and thoughts, but they have had different experiences and approaches to care of the dead. I asked them questions referring to their experiences with care of the dead and disposal of the body.

My dad has had some experience with caring for the dead after moving here. He has attended a funeral or two for people that he was close to. “I feel that it is important to attend a funeral and pay your respects; you didn’t have to be close with the person who has passed on, but you should still offer them your prayers. It isn’t mandatory, but I feel that it is appropriate for one to do so.” One funeral he attended was over a year ago; it was for a man he worked with for some time. The cause of death was natural since he was aged, so it wasn’t unexpected. This man was Jewish so the funeral ceremony went according to their religious beliefs. I asked my dad about the funeral service; he told me about prayers that were recited in Hebrew and the body which was put in a coffin. The coffin was closed since in Judaism there is no option which allows the casket to be left open. My dad said that his experience at this funeral was interesting because much of the rituals which were performed were similar when comparing them to the funerals which he has attended back in Pakistan. But there were women throughout the whole funeral and it was held at a cemetery home, whereas in the funerals he attended in Pakistan, the women are limited to their homes and the funeral is held at the grave site (for men). I decided to research on care of the dead in Judaism and learned that much of what they do is very similar to what is done in Islam when caring for the dead. For example, both in Islam and Judaism the body is purified and there is no option of cremation.

My mom has never experienced anything related to the care of the dead while living here in the United States. She was only able to tell me about her experiences while she was back at home in Pakistan. “A lot of the rituals which occur while caring for the dead in Pakistan differ in many ways when comparing how the dead are cared for here.” She told me about the different roles males and females play throughout a funeral. She talked about all the women who are gathered at the house of the person who had passed on; they offer their prayers and help out by cooking food in the name of the one who has passed on so that it can be passed out to the poor and needy and the spirit can receive its rewards. The men are the ones which take care of all the outside work such as taking the body to the burial site and offering prayers there.“There is usually a forty day grieving period where everyone pays their respects and offer their prayers, but now it is more common to have a three day grieving period because of what the Prophet Muhammad had said ‘The grieving period after ones death should not exceed three days’”. I asked my mom why women are not allowed to join the men at the grave site; she said that it’s not appropriate, supposedly if females go to the grave site the spirits view them in a negative way. I asked my mom about cremation and she didn’t really want to talk about it; it didn’t feel right talking about it because it made her have negative thoughts. All she said was that cremation is wrong and the only right way to dispose a body is to bury it because that is the only option offered to Muslims.

I think that religion plays a big role in how one cares for the dead. After hearing what my parents had to say about their own personal experiences and thoughts on the topic, I figured that there is a wrong and a right in everything and this differs depending upon ones beliefs. Here in the United States many individuals are free to approach anything however they want; in this case caring for the dead is also approached in various ways. I am not saying that this only happens in the United States, but it is the most common here. In other countries which have a large population of people under the same religion, the body tends to be disposed in a certain way at a higher rate. For example in Pakistan and other countries which base their beliefs off of Islam, usually tend to bury the body instead of cremating it. This is because we strictly follow what Islam asks us to do. In Israel most of the population has beliefs based off of Judaism, meaning that they also tend to bury the body instead of referring to cremation. In India and Japan, the cremation rate is much higher because of what they believe in. All these countries and beliefs seem to have certain rules which tend to be followed while caring for the dead, whereas in the United States there is no right or wrong way of caring for the dead.