Hwk 19

I discussed the topic of illness and dying with my mom. We talked about different aspects of this topic; we started off talking about different types of treatments out there. I asked my mom what type of doctor she would prefer seeing, one that prescribes scientific drugs or one that provides homeopathic cures. My mom said that she would prefer a doctor that refers to homeopathic cures when treating their patients because even though the results of these cures will take longer to occur, they have almost no harmful side effects compared to the scientific drugs prescribed by doctors. A patient that is curing their illness with homeopathy needs to be patient because the results usually take longer to occur. When using prescription drugs the patient usually experiences results in as little as a couple of minutes sometimes, but these drugs usually have side effects that can cause troubles later on. When choosing to be cured with the use of homeopathy, the individual needs to be aware that the results will be experienced in a longer period of time. I guess this is why many individuals have a harder time sticking with homeopathy because patience is the key, and we usually want to see results much faster especially when it considers our health.

While I was having this discussion with my mother I started to think about how my family deals with iillness. Usually when a family member or I get sick, my parents usually recommend bed rest. They try to keep away from the doctor unless the condition is serious and needs to be treated right away. My parents also try to keep away from prescription drugs. Usually when I get sick or have a headache, I am told to eat well and rest; if I have a fever then I am supposed to stay home from school. My parents rarely tell me to take prescription medicine. When I get a cold my mom makes me this herbal tea which helps me feel better within a few days. After taking some thought into this I realized that my parents go for the natural remedies to cure sickness. For example if I have a cough my mom would tell me to gargle with warm salt water, or eat a tablespoon of honey. When I have a fever or a cold I am told to dress warmer. My mom makes sure I am dressed according to the weather. When it's cold out I will expect my mom to shout: "Amber! Did you take your hat? your scarf? and your gloves?"..."Yes mom!" I would reply while getting into the crowded elevator. From what I can recall I have never been to the doctor for a fever. The only time I make an emergency visit to the doctor is when it is something out of the ordinary. I asked my mother why she tries to avoid giving me prescription or over the counter drugs to relieve my pain or ache. She said that it's because she wants my body to stay independent. If I were to take a pain reliever every time I were to get a headache, my body would become dependent on it. Soon enough I would not be able to go through a headache without swallowing an advil.

Our discussion shifted to when my mom was younger and how her parents carried on with illness in the family. I asked her about how her parents were on this idea when she was a young child. She said that their ideas were pretty much the same on this topic. If my mom or someone else in her family were sick, my grandparents would usually try to wait out a couple of days to see if his/her health was getting any better. If it was not changing for the better within a few days, they would take him/her to doctor. Then they would follow the doctor's order and take the drug that was prescribed to them. When my mom was a young child living in Pakistan, she didn’t have regular doctor appointments. She would only make a trip to the doctor if there were something serious that needed to be taken care of right then and there. One specific time would be when my mom had unbearable pain in her ear. After some time she couldn’t take it any longer, which caused my grandfather to rush her to the hospital in the early morning hours. They found out that an ant had crawled into her ear...ouch!

Later on our conversation transitioned into the topic of death in the society we currently live in and how it compares to the approach of death back in Pakistan. My mother isn’t much aware about how this society deals with death, but she is aware about the procedure such as the coffin prepared for the body and the funeral that is held. Here it is common for both males and females to attend the funeral and mourn together; inn Pakistan this is different. Males have a grieving period together at the Mosque and at the grave site while the females gather at home. In Islam the mourning period lasts for a total of forty days. It starts at the day of the death of the individual and carries on for forty days. In the grieving period men and women gather separately to recite the Quran, and offer prayers and blessings. Seeds(tamarind or date seeds) are collected or borrowed from the local Mosque to keep count for the number of times a certain a’yat or surah is recited from the Quran. Each surah or a’yat is usually recited separately, as many as 125,000 (or more) times amongst a group of men or women. They also arrange food to be given to the needy in the name of the individual that has recently passed away.

My mom and I are not fully aware of the customs that this society follows for a death. We are aware of the general idea, but we don’t know much in depth about the process that follows after a death We (my mother and i ) have never attended a funeral, and don't plan on doing so in our life. This is mostly because of our religious practices, but I feel that there is another reason as well. I think it has to do with not having interest in the idea of death; we always wish for a healthy, safe and long life. My mom is much aware about the customs in Pakistan since she was raised there as a child and this is what she witnessed when her father passed away.

Back in Pakistan, after a death occurs the body is washed, scented, then wrapped up with a white cloth. The body is then taken with the males to a graveyard. The only thing that the body takes to the graveyard is the white cloth that covers it; nothing else because there is no need of anything else. The common necessities of this world will be of no use after ones death. The wrapped up body is placed directly in the earth and buried with moist soil. The caretakers of the graveyard are told to keep the soil moist. I asked my mom why? She wasn’t really sure about this concept either, but she thought it had something to do with keeping the body cool. After the body is buried into the earth a tombstone will be placed, and only males are allowed to visit the grave site. Islam does not allow women to go to the grave site.