Hwk 59

I am glad I didn’t participate at prom this week, I have not one ounce of regret. I stayed at home and spent my day like I would any other day. I helped my mom cook in addition to spending my time with family and relaxing. I was keeping in contact with a few of my friends who were attending prom through text. The next day I was on Facebook and saw that a couple of people who had attended posted some pictures up. Most of what I saw in these pictures was expected; many of the girls were wearing dresses which were a bit too revealing while otherS were wearing floor length dresses and the guys had tuxes on. I don’t really get why these people especially the girls spend so much money to get ready for prom, when at the end everything is gonna get messed up (i.e. hair). This was seen in the pics for the after prom, The girls weren't looking as glitzy as they did before. I personally don't feel that all the money that everyone put into going to prom was well spent or worthwhile; but then again, this is just my own personal thoughts, I don't want to be criticizing all the hard work done by many teachers and students.

My future plans are the same as they are now; I won’t be attending prom. Talking with a couple of my friends I felt that no one had the best time of their lives, it was a nice affair but nothing over the top. I guess since everything was expected and we have dissected this topic thoroughly in your class, nobody really expected anything out of the ordinary. At times in class we discussed how prom related to someone getting married; I personally believe that prom has no connections with marriage in my culture. The American culture and prom is far from the Pakistani culture which contain events such as marriage. I can say that prom can be similar to the American weddings that I have seen or heard about, but nowhere near similar to Pakistani weddings.

Hwk 58

I asked two of my friends and my mom about prom…

Inexperienced: I decided to call my good friend Aseela and interview her about prom. Aseela hasn’t attended a prom yet nor does she plan to attend one in the future. I asked her why she doesn’t want to go to prom. She said “it is not an event for us, people are dancing and they doing crazy stuff, we not allowed to do that with guys. If It was separated meaning boys and girls in separate rooms like they have at the Yemeni weddings I would have planned on going, but nahh I’m not gonna go.” Then I asked her about her thoughts on how people dress up for prom and how they take prom so seriously. She said: “They exaggerate prom so much, all prom is about is attention that’s it. I think that it is nonsense because they spending so much money on their appearance which shouldn’t be that big of a deal. They only going from high school to college, they make it all hyped up for no reason. I know some people go to have fun, but at the end it’s all about attention and I just think that’s stupid.” I thanked Aseela for taking the time out of her day to share her thoughts about prom and moved on to my next interview.

Experienced: This person wanted to stay anonymous and I respect their request. I interviewed another friend of mine who attended someone else’s prom last year and will be attending her own this year. I asked her about what she expected at the prom she attended last year; she replied: “I wasn’t really sure what I expected at the time being. It seemed much more important than my 8th grade graduation or a middle school dance where it wasn’t that big of a deal if you didn’t come with a date or stress about necesseties such as a limo or dress.” I then asked her about the dresses girls were wearing, what did these dresses “say” about these girls? She said: “Everyone in my limo had a long dress except for me and another girl. These long dresses were like ball gowns, they were sparkly and over the top. I wore a simple dress, nothing too over the top. I wanted to feel comfortable and not be dragging my dress around the whole night. I don’t know what it said about them, I guess it said that they want to attract more attention from others whereas the girls that were wearing simple dresses did not care as much about the attention.” I then asked her about who are the people that set the tone at prom. She replied: “The DJ has a big effect on prom; he/she has control of changing the mood with their choice of music. They are the ones who determine if others will be having a good time or not.” I asked her about how she felt throughout the whole night as a junior attending prom with a senior: “I had moments where I felt a little weird throughout the night because it wasn’t my prom, but later on I was able to get along with a few other juniors who were there.” I asked her about why she is going to prom again this year. “Because last year felt to me more as if I was attending a regular party. It wasn’t as exciting as it would be when I attend my own prom. I am going again this year because it is my prom, and many of these people I may not get to see ever again. Another reason is that I am going with someone I really like, so it will cause me to gain a different experience at prom.” I thanked her, exed out of the chat and moved on to my last interview.

Experienced (Older): Lastly, I talked to my mom about what they do in Pakistan when students finish high school. She said they have something called a “Farewell”. I asked her about this Farewell and what people do there. She replied: “They have all the students and teachers get together for dinner." I asked what type of clothes people wore, was it anything special or just the traditional Kameez Shalwar? She said ”Yeah everyone wore the kameez shalwar, you can say they got dressed up for this event, but not as nearly dressed up as people do for prom. My mom attended an all girls high school so she said that it was only girls at this “Farewell”, if there had been guys there her parents most likely wouldn’t have let her go. I then asked her why she attended this Farewell, she said that her friends were begging her to go which pressured her into going. Otherwise she didn’t have much of an interest.

Analysis:
After reading through these interviews I found myself agreeing with Aseela the most. Prom is all about hype thats it; these people attending prom just use the transition from high school to college as an excuse to have something to dress up for. I don't really get how people celebrate this transition by dancing in awkward positions and getting drunk later on in the night. From my second interview I was able to get a different point of view on prom. I respect everyones thoughts about prom, but I strictly stand in the same position as a did before this unit. Prom has nothing to do with me, and I have nothing to do with prom. If we had a Farewell like my mom did where there was segregation between the sexes I would have thought about going, but even then I would probably have second thoughts.

Hwk 57

Thoughts:
I personally believe that prom is a big waste of time; as a community we have a list of things to worry about and the last thing on that list should be prom. I never gave much thought to Prom until last year when I saw the seniors stressing; whether stressing about renting a tuxedo from the Men’s Warehouse or what time they had their appointment at the salon, there was a sense of hype being absorbed with the stress a number of these seniors were facing. While watching these seniors, as a junior I had a slight moment where I became brainwashed into thinking that this is what I want to be worrying about as a senior next year. At last, senior year finally came and I finally realized that such worries are of no purpose. A number of prom goers tend to claim that they are going because “it’s the last event we have as a class together.” I think this is just an excuse to be used for dressing up and wasting high sums of cash in order to receive attention.

As a class, many of us came to the conclusion that “prom is a rite of passage to a fantasy of adulthood”. I agree that a number of individuals in our society apply this idea with prom. It is an excuse to act out perfection which is not possible in our world today, so why do a number of individuals attempt such an act? There is this sense of excitement a number of individuals have in America as they near their 18th birthday. In American culture turning 18 is a big deal; one becomes 3 years within the legal age of drinking, they are able to attain a driver’s license, etc… Adulthood has to do with ones responsibility; given such access to adulthood a number of individuals are brainwashed into the idea that adulthood is based on the idea of drinking, sex and having access to luxurious rides. I don’t think that one needs to attends prom in order to be granted adulthood; adulthood is the lack of responsibility one has. Growing up we are all raised with a sense of responsibility; which makes me believe that prom is not a ticket to adulthood, instead it is an excuse to fulfill desires which revolve around fantasy.

Questions:
Why do a number of individuals rely on prom to mark their start of adulthood? Does that mean adulthood cannot be reached until one has attended prom?

What does having a curfew on the night of prom say about “adulthood”?

How can one attend prom without gaining attention? Or is prom only affiliated with the attention received by one?

xc-COTD5.

not done...
Watch 3 episodes of "Six Feet Under". Write up a short annotation for each episode - MLA-citation, 2 sentence plot synopsis, 2 sentence evaluation of interest (see the above example regarding Dickinson's poem). Then write a 2-3 paragraph interpretation of how the episodes consolidate, challenge, and/or reconceptualize dominant social practices around the care of the dead.

xc - COTD2

Watching how Harold and Maude lived their lives was weird. In our society we don’t believe it is normal for anyone to be obsessed about death and creating a meaning in life. Many of us tend to forget about why we live this life and become distracted when we create our personal ways to fulfill it.Bbut what we don’t realize is that there are greater ways to fulfill it. Funerals and death played a big role in the lives of Harold and Maude. Harold loves to act out different ways one would approach their death. He loves to attend funerals; at one point he states “attending funerals satisfies me.” He likes to be alone in his own world until he meets Maude. Maude is the one who creates meaning to his life. She makes him realize that we are all living this life for something or someone. This makes Harold become interested in her insights about life and death. After spending some time with Maude, Harold realizes that he has meaning in his life because he is in love with Maude. He has a reason to live and enjoys spending his time with her. Instead of arguing with his mother about setting up dates for him, he scares them off by attempting dramatic acts of suicide. Later on when Harold finds out the shocking news that Maude takes sleeping pills on her 80th birthday he is devastated, but then realizes that he still has reasons to live his life.

Maude is a very interesting character. She approaches Harold in an unusual way by randomly making conversation with him. In our society talking to a random stranger is considered weird. Even when we ask a stranger for directions we tend to hesitate at times. Maude in the other hand has no care for what others have to say about her. She feels that everything which surrounds her in the world is hers. She has the power to take control of anything she wants to. For example, when she sees a dead tree she makes it her duty to make the grow back to life. She does this by transplanting it in the forest with the help of Harold. At one point she states: “I like to watch things grow.” She is very open to Harold about her thoughts on life. On her 80th birthday she decides to take sleeping pills. I guess she felt that she had nothing more left to live for.

Harold’s mother is another character who helps the viewer achieve a better understanding of Harold. She does not like Harold’s obsession of death and his dramatic acts of committing suicide. In fact she has not an ounce of worry when Harold does these attempts. He has attempted his own death so many times that she will not fall for another one of his stunts. Because Harold’s mother does not like her sons lifestyle, she decides to get him married soon. She sets up a number of dates for Harold in hope of him agreeing to her request; but all she gets in return are different attempts of suicide. When she feels that this method is not working, she decides to send him to the army with his uncle. Just as her last plan, this plan does not work either. Later on when Harold admits to having interest in Maude she is shocked, which would be expected from any mother.

Basically what I got out from watching this movie is that everyone has their own thoughts, opinions and approaches for the idea of death and caring for the dead. At first, Harold feels that he has no reason to live and tends to spend his whole life coming up with different attempts of suicide. That is until he meets Maude which makes him realize that he has something to live for. Maude feels that every living thing has a purpose in life and she shares this idea with Harold. Harold’s mother feels that death is a whole bunch of mumbo jumbo and no one should waste their time worrying about it. Instead they should spend the time they have in this life to do what others do by live a “normal” life.

Hwk 56

Comments to others:
Sophia,
I like how you questioned your reader at first, then started to answer these questions throughout your essay. Your questions made me pause and think about an answer to each of them before reading on. I was interested in how a body decomposes; as a class we discussed different approaches to death such as burial, cremation and embalming, but we never really went into each approach to death and how it is played out. I think it would have been even more interesting if you had put in some pictures for each stage of decomposition. I was able to create pictures in my head while reading your paper, but I was curious to see what each stage actually looks like. I know some of these photos might have been disturbing to some viewers, but this is a natural way of death; there is nothing abnormal about it. Nice job.
Amber M.

Martyna,
I was interested in reading about the different stages that one experiences when they lose their loved one. Everyone approaches death differently and they may approach these steps differently as well. I feel like it depends on the person and how close they were to their loved one. The closer they were, the longer it will take for them to finally accept the death of their loved one. I didn’t know that there were so many steps involved within grieving for a loss. When I think about people who recently lost their loved one, I think of them crying for a couple of days then going back to their normal routine. After reading this, I was able to figure out that this is not the case. The grieving period is much more longer than I thought it would be. Now I realize that one cannot go straight to accepting the death of their loved one. They had probably spent a great amount of time with them; they shouldn’t be expected to move on with their lives right after a great loss. I think it would have been nice if you had added your own thoughts or personal experiences to the seven stages of grief. Otherwise good job.
Amber M.
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Comments from others:
From Arden:
I remember you telling me about your project. I was interested then and after reading it I think the project turned out really well. I liked how you made the piece very personal by writing about your views and practice based off of your own religion. You managed to take the piece a step deeper by a temping to learn about other religion aside form your own.

Your research strongly supports what you said "that religion does indeed affect the way one approaches death and his or her thoughts on the afterlife. " I think you could have improved this piece by comparing and contrasting the dominant practices in each religion. Similarities and differences.
Good job

From Protege (Brother):
I think you did a good job. I know you go to Madarsa every weekend, but reading this helped me understand some stuff you have learned from there. I think it was a good choice to compare what people from other faiths say about the afterlife and how they care for their dead. Our society is very diverse and it looks like you are interested in comparing and contrasting your thoughts to what others have to say. I think the verses from the Quran and Hadith were useful to show your readers where your thoughts are originally coming from. I would have liked to hear more about you and your thoughts towards the end.

From Mentor (Mom):
Amber,
Nice way to approach your project, I am glad that you were able to approach it by doing something other than a paper. I like how you used what you learn in madarsa and incorporated it within this project. After reading this I was able to have a better understanding of religion and how it helps shape someones thoughts. I didn't have much knowledge on how people from other faiths approach death or how it shapes their thoughts about the afterlife, but by reading your interviews I was able to learn a lot. It seems like those of the Catholic faith have the same idea of heaven and hell in the afterlife as we do. Those of the Jewish faith don't really have an idea about the after life. It would have been nice if you were able to do a couple more interviews with people from other faiths such as Budhism and Hinduism. Other than that you did a great job.
Mom

Hwk 55

Originally I had planned on writing a paper about religion and how it affects how one cares for the dead and their thoughts on the afterlife. But after I realized that I was already busy working on my exhibition I felt like the last thing I wanted to do was to write another paper. So, I decided to ask my teacher at Madarsah (the Arabic word for any type of educational institution, whether secular or religious) if she could focus one of her class periods based on parts in the Quran which discussed the afterlife and possibly connect it to other beliefs. She happily agreed with this idea because we are used to reading the Quran and discussing its translations as a class; she focus on surahs (chapters from the Quran) which discussed the rewards of paradise and the torture one will experience if admitted into hell. She also referred to the Hadith (A collection of traditions containing sayings of the prophet Muhammad) which was able to tie together Islamic beliefs on the afterlife. These are some parts of the Quran and Hadith which we ended up discussing:

Verses from the Quran:
"Every soul shall taste death. And We test you by evil and by good by way of trial. To Us must you return." (Surah al-Anbiyaa)

“It is He Who brings out the living from the dead, and brings out the dead from the living and Who gives life to the earth after it is dead: and thus shall ye be brought out (from the dead).” (Ar-Room)

Hadith:
“The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: There is nothing heavier than good character put in the scale of a believer on the Day of Resurrection.”

“Verily. Allah would say on the Day of Resurrection: Where are those who have mutual love for My Glory’s sake? Today I shall shelter them in My shadow when there is no other shadow but the shadow of Mine.”

Throughout the whole discussion I found myself nodding my head. I agree with everything which is stated in the Quran and Hadith; not only about death, but all topics discussed. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to gather a collection of photos while attending the class because many Muslim women do not like being photographed for religious reasons.

In addition to sitting in on this class, I decided to compare how my personal death plans and thoughts on the afterlife compare to those who have a different faith.
Questions asked: How do you want to be approached after your death? What are your thoughts about the afterlife?

Anonymous (Catholic): “I want to be washed and clothed by her family. “I want to be placed in a wooden casket which would not harm the environment and help me decompose and go back into earth. I do not want to be cremated because many Catholics do not cremate themselves. Cremation is not considered traditional for Catholics. I want people to pay their respects and remember me after I die. I want to have a service (Mass) after my burial. According to my religion and what I believe in, I think that I will join God in heaven or go to hell. This will depend on whether I followed the path God wanted me to follow and if my sins are forgiven or not. I believe the afterlife will be a like a birds eye view from the sky; looking down on people and meeting God if I am granted to spend my afterlife in heaven.”

Anonymous (Jewish): “I never really thought about how the dead should be approached until my grandmother and father in law passed away last year. My father in law was cremated, but this was against the Jewish faith so it was considered untraditional. This made me upset because I like the idea of having a traditional funeral. My grandmother in the other hand had much more of a traditional burial; I took part in this by sitting Shiva. This death was expected since my grandmother was aged. She understood this fact and made it clear that she wanted to be with her husband (in the afterlife). I want to have a traditional Jewish burial which consists of a being wrapped up in a cloth and having the body placed in a pine casket. This casket would then be buried into the ground and decomposed back into earth. I don’t have much of an idea about the afterlife since Judaism does not have a strong focus on the afterlife. I guess there will be lots of clouds and a big man with a beard (possibly a rabbi). I do not want my religion to be oppressive on me. Religion should play a part in a meaningful life but it should not be forced upon you.”

After attending the Islamic class which focused on the afterlife in Islam and hearing about thoughts from those who follow different faiths made me realize that religion does indeed affect the way one approaches death and his/her thoughts on the afterlife.